


we have the life we give ourselves

by TheGodWith5Yen



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Bonding, Character(s) of Color, Dorks in Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Teenagers, the cullens act like teenagers and have fun and have actual friends!!, they're just a bunch of goofballs having fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-10-23 05:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17677430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGodWith5Yen/pseuds/TheGodWith5Yen
Summary: As she glanced up at the guy she realized how handsome he was. Suddenly, she felt sort of tongue tied, forgetting all about Mike who was supposed to guide her to class, and self conscious of the fact that she had mud on her boots and was wearing her dad’s large corduroy jacket with a t-shirt with moth bitten holes on the collar. She hugged her arms around her middle. “I’m- I’m Bella by the way.”“I know.” The boy smiled. It was dazzling- it made her nearly trip over herself. “You’ve been the talk of the town. I’m Edward Cullen.”Of course he was. Jessica was right- Bella understood what she had been trying to say. Her face felt warm as she looked up at him, at his pale white skin that seemed to glow bright among the dullness of Forks, the slight accent in his voice that Bella couldn’t place, but seemed transported from other world entirely.(or- the story of a totally normal teenage romance, featuring music, wacky sense of fashion, friends who like to butt into things, way too much cupcakes, and the sense of finding where one belongs)





	1. October

**Author's Note:**

> I just love the idea of the Cullens being able to interact with other students and have fun! 
> 
> This chapter takes place in 2015 and we will go from there! Edward never stalks Bella and never gets an urge to kill her. Most of the Cullens of poc because I said so. uhhh long haired sweet boy Jacob rights.... that's it I think. Oh also gay background characters! Bella may be bi let's find out lads! A lot of this fic has some headcanons I have that I posted on tumblr @leahclearwlwater
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, I'm having so much fun with this!

Rain held a sort of melancholy with it. When it would rain back home- back in Phoenix- Bella would huddle up in her warmest clothes, a sweater, some sweatpants maybe, the purple scarf her mom made when she was on a knitting fix (Renee really wasn’t good at that sort of thing, the holes were larger than it should be, but it worked just fine). She would sit next to the living room window, listening to the sad pelting on the rain onto the house and pavement, as she read Romeo and Juliet or Where the Red Fern Grows. Bella wasn’t much of a dog person, but it was an old favorite ever since she read it for class in the sixth grade. She would allow whatever shade of sadness wash over her as the rain fell.

It couldn’t be the same here. In Forks.

Rain, clouds, the whole works, they were commonplace, everyday for Forks. She wondered how anyone could truly live in a place like this? Wouldn’t they be depressed all the time? That had to be in a part of why Renee left. As she thought it, she felt bad about it. Her dad was a great man, he loved this little town, he loved her. Enough to deal with her and take her in when she decided to live with him. Bella knew people whose dad’s wouldn’t give a care about their kids, or ex-wife. Charlie cared. He was good.

Bella finished folding up her clothes and placed them inside of her new dresser. All that was on there right now was her deodorant, the small collection of Victoria’s Secret perfume her mother bought her for Christmas, her little cactus and succulent that she had brought from home, and a framed picture of Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes from the Romeo and Juliet movie. She had cleaned off what was previously on the dresser and had set it on the floor to deal with later.

“Hey, Bells, how’re you getting settled?” Charlie’s voice startled her, causing her to jump slightly.

She bit her lip and smiled slightly at her dad. “Good. Hey, um, I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“Not to worry, your old man just called to get some pizza. You still a meat lover?” He tapped his hand against his leg and gave her a hopeful kind of smile.

Bella walked over to Charlie and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Dad, I didn’t know how to break it to you, but, uh, I’m a vegan now.” When he glanced down at her with a face full of mild concern bridging onto acceptance on the situation, Bella burst into giggles. “I’m not, don’t worry! I _love_ meat lovers.”

Charlie sighed in relief and squeezed her shoulder. “Oh thank God Bells. You really got me scared there for a good second.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon eating cheesy pizza on Christmas themed paper plates in the living room, watching an episode of X-Files and debating on whether or not Bigfoot was real. Bella was firmly on the side that he wasn’t, much to her father's dismay.

“You’re a cop in Washington, how do you believe in this!” Bella laughed out as she reached over for her fourth slice of pizza. The cheese lifted up off the sides of the piece next to it so she ripped at it with her fingers.

“Oh Bella, my sweet Arizona child, one day you will learn the mystery of this world.” He placed his hand on the top of her head and rustled her hair. Bella scrunched up her nose and whined about the probability of it all, but let it happen.

   

Forks High School was several brick buildings that reminded Bella of a prison. Fighting back a sarcastic comment towards her father, she simply smiled at him and said, “So, you’re picking me up?” Bella had asked about five times already, but she kept on wanting the reassurance.

Charlie gave her a smile as he nodded. “Yup. I’ll be here when that school bell goes off, promise.” Bella breathed in and nodded her head. Everything would go fine, it was just school. Just school. It didn’t matter that she was the first new girl in probably forever for these kids to meet. Bella would make it through awkward conversations and ice breakers. She would go, and before she knew it she’d be back In Charlie’s car and back at the house. “Oh- I forgot to mention. Billy Black and his son are coming over tonight. You remember Billy right?”

Bella pursed her lips as she tried to remember. She stared at the little drops of water falling down the window like tears. “Vaguely… I remember his son, uh, Jay- Jason?”

The quirk of her father's lips told her that she was off. “Close. Jacob.”

Jacob. When Bella thought hard about it, she could see a dark skinned boy with wavy hair to his shoulders that tangled up because he would run around, and a wide smile. “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure. Get outta here kid. Go, make friends. Talk about, I don’t know, the Twine?”

Bella squinted at her dad before grinning as she opened the door, the straps of her backpack clutched firmly in between her hands, “It’s called Vine!” She stepped out, gave Charlie a small wave as she put on her backpack. As she turned towards the administration building, she heard as he drove his cruiser away. Bella took a deep breath, ignored the curious looks she could feel penetrating her from her peers, and walked on.

The building smelled like lemons as well as the wetness that stayed in every crack in this town. A large woman with red hair falling over her shoulders glanced up from her computer. She gave Bella a warm smile that instantly made her feel comfortable- she felt like the generic mother that always had Bella able to calm down.

The woman, Bella could see her name on her desk as she walked closer- Mrs. Cope- began clicking at the computers mouse. “You’re Isabella Swan, Chief Swan’s daughter! He’s been so very excited about you coming to live here!”

Bella blushed and scratched at her neck. “It’s- it’s Bella, actually.” Her words came out just as the loud sound of the printer began, drowning her out. Bella frowned and gripped at her backpacks straps. Alright then.

“Hm? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you sweetheart. Been waiting to get a new printer.” Mrs. Cope laughed as she handed Bella the papers. One was her class schedule and the other was a map of the school, as though Bella wouldn’t be able to navigate the few marked buildings. Bella stuttered out her name again, earning herself a nod before Mrs. Cope began to explain where she would have to go for her first class, as well as her general run down of the teacher. Bella nodded along, waiting for when she could finally escape. When the first bell rang, loud and crackling over the speakers, Bella was quick to excuse herself to find her class.

Since it was early October, and teachers wanted to simply get on with class, Bella hadn’t even been introduced to the class, only shown where she could sit and given a quick rundown of what they were going over in class. Thank God. Bella was never one for public speaking. Her face turned all red and she stumbled over her words as her heart beat out of her chest and made her want to die.

A few kids had talked to her though in the short in between minutes before class began. They were outgoing seeming types of kids who were comfortable to make a new friend and get to know her. She even got offered an invitation made by this kid who she had three classes with. He seemed nice enough, though he had those weird sparkles in his eyes whenever he looked at her, like he was wildly interested in her for whatever reason. Hopefully that would fade away. Bella wasn’t- it wasn’t that she didn’t want a relationship, but it wasn’t something she thought she’d feel comfortable with.

By lunchtime, she quickly found the table where the kid- Michael?- was sitting, with his friends, many of whom she had already had brief conversations with. It made her feel much more comfortable to know that Bella already somewhat had a grasp on who they were. She sat next to a girl with green glasses and her black hair tied back in a ponytail. Little locks of her thick hair fell into her cheeks. She gave Bella a warm smile and said hi. Bella, who was inclined more towards nice silence, was convinced she would like this girl.

“So, how are you liking Forks so far?” Jessica Stanley, a girl with coils of dyed light brown hair and nails painted dark blue, asked after a few minutes. She was turned fully towards Bella, seeming genuinely interested. “This must be _so_ different than Phoenix, I can’t even imagine.”

Bella nodded her head as she pulled out her ziploc bag of leftover pizza from last night. It was cold, but she didn’t really mind much.  “Yeah, it’s way smaller here. Kind of a shock, honestly. I think I can get used to it here. It’s nice being with C- with my dad.”

Jessica hummed and nodded along. “Yeah! You must miss the sun though. We _barely_ ever get any here, it’s like this town is forsaken or something.”

The quiet girl next to Bella laughed. “This again? This is the same rant Jessica got into when the Cullen kids came to town. Jess just can’t fathom why anyone would voluntary move to Forks.” She rolled her eyes and shared a look with Bella, as though they were already great friends. Bella smiled back at her.

Jessica just rolled her eyes and pick at her salad. “You know I’m right Angela. Anyways, the Cullen’s seem to love it here. Caught Alice without a coat, just getting soaking wet one time. I swear, that girl is crazy.” Her words were said with affection as she remembered this Alice girl.

“Who’re the Cullens?” Bella asked curiously. The name sounded familiar- Charlie might’ve said it once or twice, but she couldn’t quite remember. “They new too?”

That seemed to get the whole tables attention, everyone moving in close to speak to Bella about the Cullens- a group of adopted and foster kids that had moved to Forks with their adoptive father, Doctor Cullen. Charlie had in fact mentioned the doctor, singing him praises that Bella only half listened to.

None of them were in the cafeteria right now, which they said happened from time to time. They would hang out outside, even when it was damp, or in a classroom.

“Sometimes Alice and her half-brother Emmett will hang out with us. They’re cool. Rosalie and Jasper Hale- they’re, like, cousins I think? They come once in a while to little parties and hangouts with us, since they’re like lowkey dating Emmett and Alice.” Jessica explained as she leaned forward, chin on the palm of her hand. Her eyes sparkled with a sudden excitement and she pitched her voice a little lower, her eyes glancing to the side where the boy who had invited Bella to lunch- Mick?- and their friend Eric were laughing at something on their phones. “Then, there’s Edward. He’s a little bit of a loner, which sucks because he’s downright gorgeous. His voice is all silky and sexy, gets you a little wet, you know?”

Bella raised her eyebrows as she felt her cheeks heat up. Next to her, Angela choked on a sip of her water. Without looking away from Jessica’s smug face, Bella smacked at Angela’s back until she waved her hand to signal she would be fine. From the corner of her eye, she could see Eric and Mica- no, that wasn’t it, but she was pretty sure she was closer- glance at them with raised eyebrows before shrugging and turning back to their phones.

Angela leaned closer to Jessica. “Jess! That’s so gross!”

“What? Like you don’t get worked up whenever Edward Cullen holds open a door for you!” Jessica shot back, her thick eyebrows raised and a wicked smile on her lips when Angela opened and closed her mouth, with nothing to say. “Trust me Bella, you’ll understand when you meet him. He’s this massive gentlemen.”

“I’m sure.” Bella laughed quietly. She thought over what Jessica had said before tilting her head to the side and asking, “Wait, so the half-siblings are dating the cousins, and they all live under the same house?”

Jessica perked up as Angela simply sighed. “I asked Alice about it, because I found it kind of weird too. It’s totally borderline, but apparently Doctor Cullen and his wife don’t mind as long as they don’t do anything nasty. Still. I’ve seen The Fosters, and let me tell you, at some point it’s weird.” She shook her head, shrugged, and took a bite out of a piece of lettuce.

Bella nodded her head, not quite grasping at how they could allow that to happen. “I only seen some of The Fosters with my mom, but I am so done with Callie and Brandon.” As Jessica jumped at the new topic, Angela gave Bella another small smile and bumped her shoulder against Bella’s.

For the first time in a long time, Bella realized that she might have friends. It had only been one lunch, but she could see this continuing on for the rest of junior year and senior year. The thought had Bella grinning as she listened to Jessica complain about Callie from The Fosters. Five minutes before lunch ended, she got Jessica and Angela’s numbers in her phone, got added into a groupchat Jessica made on a whim, and compared her schedule with the group. She had biology with Mike- she finally got his name correct- as well as PE with him and Jessica as the last class of the day. When the bell rang, she got up and followed an eager, excited Mike towards another building.

Her feet trudged through the semi-wet courtyard as she followed Mike, nodding along as he spoke, not quite paying attention. Her feet would sink into the ground, just slightly, causing her to have to push herself forward. As they edged closer to the building, Bella could see that someone was standing at the door, holding it open for a group of girls, who were giggling as they thanked him.

The guy glanced back towards Mike and Bella, looking mildly interested like every other person in the school. Bella could see how pale he was from where she was, and how artfully messy his hair seemed to be. As the girls all stepped inside the building, he kept it open. He inclined his head slightly and Bella knew he was waiting for her. She felt a bit rushed, not wanting to have him wait too long, so she began to speed walk, ignoring Mike’s surprised little shout as she moved closer to the building.

“Thanks,” Bella said breathlessly as she moved through the doorway.

The boy quickly moved inside, the door closing on Mike, who was still rushing inside, looking a little miffed. “You’re welcome. For the door and for ridding you of Newton’s presence. He can be a bit… unsavory.” He glanced back towards the door as Mike made his way inside, his thick eyebrows scrunching up before he shook his head. Not a hair fell out of place as he did so. “You have bio right now? With Banner?”

Bella nodded her head. “Um, yeah, yeah. You too?” As she glanced up at the guy she realized how handsome he was. Suddenly, she felt sort of tongue tied, forgetting all about Mike who was supposed to guide her to class, and self conscious of the fact that she had mud on her boots and was wearing her dad’s large corduroy jacket with a t-shirt with moth bitten holes on the collar. She hugged her arms around her middle. “I’m- I’m Bella by the way.”

“I know.” The boy smiled. It was dazzling- it made her nearly trip over herself. “You’ve been the talk of the town. I’m Edward Cullen.”

Of course he was. Jessica was right- Bella understood what she had been trying to say. Her face felt warm as she looked up at him, at his pale white skin that seemed to glow bright among the dullness of Forks, the slight accent in his voice that Bella couldn’t place, but seemed transported from other world entirely.

She was half in her mind when she heard Edward say, “I believe we may be seatmates, there’s only one free chair in the classroom.” He looked at her and she realized that she should speak, like a person.

“Oh, cool.” Bella smiled tightly. Her face felt warm. They walked into the classroom and Edward lead her towards a table towards the middle. Bella spent the whole hour feeling much too aware of Edward Cullen sitting next to her, of when his black eyes would shift towards her and stare for a while, of how his fingers tapped at his chin to a silent tune as he listened to Mr. Banner drone on about the information on the powerpoint slide.

****

“How was your first day?” Charlie asked as Bella climbed into his cruiser. Bella could still feel the eyes of her peers at Forks High School, but it didn’t feel as heavy as it did in the morning. “Make any friends?”

Bella pushed her hands towards the vents to feel the warmth. She wasn’t sure if she would ever get used to this chilly weather, but who knew? It could be that by next month for was fully accustomed and adapted to the permanent chill that resided in Forks. “I actually did. Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber. We had lunch together and Jessica stayed during the surprise mile we had to do after some kid behaved like a dumbass. Ugh.”

Her father laughed and shook his head. “Well, I’m glad you made some friends.” He was silent for a moment longer. He looked a little unsure, his hands shifting on the steering wheel and his shoulders tensing. “Um. Billy and Jacob are over at the house right now. Just, uh, just a heads up.”

In the rush of her first day of school, Bella had forgot that Charlie had told her in the morning that his friend would coming over. “Oh, okay. Um, should I make dinner? I make some bomb pasta.”

Charlie shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine. Jacob’s actually making some burgers. Well, veggie burgers for me and Billy, but real ones for you two.” His eyebrows scrunched together at the thought of a veggie burger and it made Bella laugh.

“Great! I was worried I was the only one worried about your health.” Bella looked pointedly at the bulge of his stomach. It, admittedly, wasn’t much, but she had seen his freezer, so who knew what was going on with his arteries.

“Oh haha.” Charlie elbowed at her shoulder. It only took a few seconds before he was laughing as well. All the tenseness that had been there only moments before was gone. “I’ll have you know I am perfectly healthy! Got the say so from Doctor Cullen himself!”

Bella hummed in response, a giggle sill threatening to leave her mouth.

As Charlie began to pull up to the house, she could see a bright orange truck in the driveway, along with a man in a wheelchair and a tall boy with his hair pulled back in a messy braid. Must be Billy and Jacob. Jacob was laughing, his head thrown back, grin wide and boyish. He was adorable despite looking to be over six feet. Charlie parked next to the truck and they both stepped out into the chilly air.

Immediately, Bella went to shake Billy’s hand.

“You like the truck Bella?” Billy smiled up at her.

Bella glanced at the truck- it was a little rusted, but had a vibe about it that Bella thought was nice. “Uh, yeah, it’s nice.” She reached her hand up to scratch at her head, fixing at her hair.

“Oh, good. Because it’s yours.” Charlie spoke up from behind her. Bella glanced back at him, words unable to leave her mouth as she processed his words. “Jacob fixed it up and I bought it off of them. Jake did some good work. She runs good as new.” Jacob preened under the praise, his grin somehow widening and becoming brighter.

“Holy- you’re serious? You? Mine?” She brought her hands up to her lips and watched as her father nodded his head in confirmation.  “Oh my God, Dad! That’s! This is so fucking cool. Thank you.” She hugged him tight before letting go and turning towards Jacob. He offered to help show her how it worked and they went for a drive around the block. “Wow, I can’t believe you fixed her all up.” Bella pat at the trucks- her trucks- dashboard.

Jacob leaned forward as he wrapped his long arms around his knees. “It’s not much. Just kind of a hobby to get through the boring days. Sometimes the guys on the rez pay me to fix something up, which is cool.”

“Jacob, it’s awesome. You have a real talent.”

“People don’t really think fixing cars is a talent.”

Bella snorted and shook her head. “Those people are asshole white people who think being in a white collar business job is the only way to go. Without guys like you, they’d fall apart. Jacob- you are fucking awesome. Thanks so much for this.” In the corner of her eye, she could see Jacob back to grinning wide and happy.

How odd was it that only yesterday she was wondering how she could ever become used to this depressing little rain filled town? Now Bella had the sense to realize that she had more connections here then she ever had in Phoenix. Back in Phoenix, it was only ever her and Renee. Then came Phil.

She never quite had any close friends who invited her to their group chats or to hang out after school to drink coffee and study for an upcoming math test. One day and she felt closer to Jessica Stanley and Angela and Jacob than she had with anyone back in home.

Was Phoenix ever really home?

It didn’t feel that way now that she thought of it. Sure, it was where she was raised. The house she lived in with Renee had been a home to her. It was where Bella had that little dumb ballet outfit and pictures from all the elementary picture days and where she had three cats throughout her life- Fluffy, Nemo, and Heathcliff- and where she had spent the day throwing up when her period was especially bad. That was home. But...

Forks- Forks had this wide bubble of potential  around it that she never thought it could have. People who seemed genuinely interested in her, their eyes staying firmly on her face as she spoke as opposed to sort of drifting over her as though she was unimportant. The people a person surrounded themselves with was just as much of a home as a building and a city.

****

It wasn’t until Bella’s third day at Forks High School that she met the rest of the Cullen family. Well, met was a strong word. She only really met Alice and Emmett, while their significant others hung out across the cafeteria to eat lunch with Edward, despite the fact that he had earbuds in, his foot tapping along to the beat of whatever song he was listening to as he concentrated on his notebook.

Alice Cullen was a petite black girl with curly black hair that wildly bounced about as she fluttered around. She reminded Bella of a pixie- her little features, her small hands, the way her giggle was high pitched, how she would randomly stop in a middle of a sentence as she suddenly zoned out.

While Alice was tiny and feminine and soft spoken, her brother Emmett was the complete opposite. He had a booming laugh and wiry muscles that shifted under his dark skin, visible due to the fact that he wore a bright pink tank top, his windbreaker that looked straight out of the eighties hanging off his chair. His curly hair was bleached blonde and fell over forehead and he had something that looked a little like a nail- the kind you beat a hammer with- as an earring.

Bella was eating leftover pasta she had made the night before, a little mournful of the fact that she had forgot to bring a ziplock bag of parmesan cheese like she intended to, when Alice Cullen skipped over and wedged herself in between Bella and Jessica. She folded her hands in front of her and smiled brightly at Bella, ignoring Jessica, who was sticking her tongue out at Alice for surprising her.

“Hi! It’s great to finally meet you! I’m Alice!” She held up her hand for a high five, her wide golden eyes staring intensely at her as she waited. Bella lightly slapped her hand to the girls, sloppily with her slight confusion. “That’s my brother Em.” She pointed towards the boy who had his large arm thrown behind Eric Yorkie’s chair, his other hand stealing some of the boys fries. Alice made a face at her brother, but he just shrugged at her and gave Bella a large grin. “Tell me Bella, are you enjoying your time here in Forks?”

Bella nodded her head as she shoveled some pasta into her mouth. Belatedly, she realized she shouldn’t have done that in the middle of a conversation. She chewed the food and covered her mouth as she spoke. “It’s… better than I expected.”

Alice’s grin widened. She had insanely straight bright white teeth. “That’s great! I’m so glad!”

“Oh my God, Al, I should so add you to the group chat we have with Bella, hold up!” Jessica reached into her overalls pockets to fish out her phone. It sparkled from the lighting above. “There isn’t really much there yet except a Berenstain/Berenstein debate. Which, it was totally Beren _stein_ you assholes.”

Emmett Cullen laughed and shook his head. “No way J-Dog. It was totally Berenstain.” With his input, Jessica’s face heated up as she breathed in and began her debate, with the support of Mike and Tyler Crowley. A napkin or two got thrown in the heat of the argument, which had Bella laughing, her head leaning towards Alice, falling onto her cold shoulder. When she glanced up, Alice smiled at her before her gaze turned cloudy.

“Uhhh…” Bella raised her hand and waved it in front of her eyes. “You okay Alice?”

“She’s just having a seizure. She’ll be good in a minute.” Emmett said before turning back to Eric to explain the intricacies of the mind and how easily it could distort memories. He tripped over his words in his excitement of explaining and Bella blinked at how calm he could be that his little sister was having a seizure. At least it wasn’t like the ones she heard about other people getting. As she waited for Alice to come back to, she listened to Emmett speak- he seemed to know quite a bit. He also had a lisp that Bella thought was cute.

Alice Cullen blinked and smiled at Bella. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Bella pressed her hand to her heart. “You had me worried.”

That had Alice laughing. “You’re so kind Bella. I see this as a great beginning to a long, wonderful friendship. A sisterhood even.”

“We gonna get some traveling pants then?” Bella inquired, raising her eyebrows. Alice giggled and dropped her head to Bella’s shoulder this time.

****

The game for whoever was playing in the background as Bella and Jacob ate ice cream sandwiches in the kitchen, struggling to hear one another over the too loud tv and the shouts of excitement from their fathers.

Billy and Jacob had shown up at the door two hours ago, with beer and soda and some of Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry that had Charlie’s eyes shining, eager like a kid whose mother just told them it was okay to go wild in a candy shop. Bella had shared a look with Jacob before helping him stuff the beer and sodas into the fridge.

Bella had attempted to watch some of the game, but hadn’t been able to concentrate and had left about half an hour in. Her stepfather may be a baseball player, but that didn’t mean she was actually invested or liked the game. To be honest, she always sort of found it to be one of the most bland games. At least in football people got slammed down and in soccer guys hit their heads in a attempt to get the ball someway close to the net. Baseball just bored her.

So, she had glanced up at Charlie, who was staring intently at the screen, a beer in his right hand and his left hand on Billy’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing circles seemingly absent mindedly. Bella shifted her gaze to Jacob, who looked equally bored, inclined her head towards the kitchen, and they’ve been there since.

Now, as she remembered the casual touch her father gave Billy, she bit at her lip and wondered if she should ask. Deciding to hell with it, Bella leaned forward, whispering despite the fact that their fathers would in no way hear them over their collective noise.

“Uh, so, feel free to laugh in my face, but are our dads, um, dating?” She bit at her lip again and stared deep into Jacob’s eyes.

His thick eyebrows pulled together and she wondered if she made the worst mistake by asking. She opened her mouth to let out a rush of apologized. A warm hand landed over her mouth, stopping whatever she was saying. Belle locked eyes with Jacob again, who was smiling.

“Sorry, sorry. Um. Yeah, I’m pretty sure our dads are dating. I’ve been sure for about two years now, but I haven’t said anything.” Jacob shrugged his shoulders. His hand was still over her mouth.

There was a moment where Bella contemplated her next move, but decided why not? They had fallen into a quick friendship and they would probably become step siblings at some point in there lives (hopefully. This new knowledge had Bella excited) and they were childhood friends even if she couldn’t remember most of it. Bella opened her mouth and licked at his hand. It was salty.

“Ew! What the- ew!” Jacob flew away from Bella’s mouth, hand up in the air. He looked back and forth between his hand and at Bella before laughing along with her. “I freaking hate you Bella Swan.”

Bella grinned at him and shrugged her shoulders.

****

The next day, Bella found herself in the locally owned thrift store with Jessica and Angela. They had showed up at her house right at noon and asked if she would like to to come along with them. Apparently Alice had given Jess a heads up that her adoptive mother had given bags of her family’s clothes away.

“Cullen clothes are the best clothes. When some suburban white middle aged mom finds out, it’s over for us. So, we gotta get there fast. You coming?” Jessica had asked in between texting Alice a string of frowning emojis. “Alice doesn’t even give us a friend discount where she shows us what she’s giving up beforehand to let us pick. Says it’s not fair to everyone else. Anyways, you coming?”

“It’ll be fun.” Angela smiled hopefully at Bella.

Bella had seen an outfit that Jasper Hale had worn the other day and had wondered where she could get something like that. There could be a possibility she could find something of his or his siblings she would love. Deciding to tag along, Bella pulled on one of Charlie’s large sweatshirts, told him she was going despite the fact that he was in the living room and heard the whole conversation, and climbed into Jessica’s cute little Volkswagen Beetle. It had smelled like Jessica herself, she must spray herself with the perfume while in the car.

The college aged young man sitting at the counter gave Jessica a small wave as the three of them walked into the small store. There were cramped lines of racks full of clothes that were organized only by color and the walls were lined with shelves of knick knacks and old toys. There was only an older woman in the back, sifting through a bin of dvds and vhs tapes.

The three of them began to look through the racks, content to simply look through the clothes. Bella collected a armful of clothes and headed to the changing room, along with Angela.

“You were right, this is fun.” Bella said, speaking to Angela through the thick curtain separating her from the rest of the thrift shop. She tripped over herself as she attempted to take her foot out of her pants.

“Right?” Angela laughed. “Did you ever do stuff like this back in Phoenix?”

Bella shrugged, before realizing that her friend couldn’t see her. “Uh. No, not really.” She pushed her hair out of her face and stared at her reflection in the wall sized mirror mounted on the wall. The pants looked pretty good on her. “I honestly didn’t have a lot of friends back in Phoenix.”

“Well it’s a good thing you came here.” Despite not being able to see her, Bella knew that Angela was grinning.

It was only her second week in this little rainy town, yet Bella already felt he knew these people for all her life. It made no sense. Was she simply more open to possibilities now? To letting herself be goofy and have fun and be an actual teenager for once in her life? It had to be Jessica’s influence, she was just so… free to be herself that Bella couldn’t help but be excited and happy and be herself as well. Jessica spoke her mind- and not in that bitchy way that a lot of girls excused for being rude. No, Jessica said all the kind and odd thoughts that popped into her mind.

Bella tried in the shirt she was most excited to try on- it was bright pink, not her usual color, and had a drawing of Marie Antoinette. It went absolutely hideously with the green cargo pants Bella had tried on and she loved it. She snapped a quick picture and sent it to the group chat with a few heart emojis and claiming that this was how she was going to dress everyday, much to Alice’s dismay. Angela laughed in the little stall next to her.

“Hey, Bella, mind if I jump in there with you? I got some clothes, but there’s only the two dressing rooms.” Jessica asked, the curtain waving about with her proximity.

Bella opened the curtain and let Jessica slide inside. She hooked the clothes up and turned to Bella. “Thanks girl. Oh, nice, Marie Antoinette. Love her. Miss Antoinette invented Rococo and I’m honestly all for it. Hey, I grabbed this skirt, it might look cute with that shirt. Unless you aren’t a skirt person, that’s cool.” She placed a pink denim skirt on top of the pile of clothes Bella had before she began to change. Jessica must have been thinking of something because she turned towards Bella again, her dark eyes bright and lips pulled up in a grin. “What’s your Halloween plans?”

“Oh yeah!” Angela said. “Jess is throwing a party at her house since it’s gonna be on a Saturday!”

Jessica nodded as she shoved on a baby blue dress. “Yeah. It’s not going to be much, just a movie playing with the whole gang around, eating pizza and making cupcakes and shit. I think all of the Cullen’s might be coming this year. So, you down?”

Bella hadn’t done anything related to Halloween since she was ten, when she dressed up as the cowardly lion. Charlie had that picture hanging up in the living room. “Do I have to dress up?”

Jessica huffed as she threw off the dress. She hadn’t been able to get it down past her chest. “Of course Bella! C’mon, have a little fun. Do a homemade outfit. Lumberjack or Katniss Everdeen or something woodsy. Okay, how the hell did you live in Phoenix with your excessive amount of flannel. I do not understand.”

“Well, why do you think I didn’t fit in? My flannel scared everyone off. Here, the flannel is accepted and loved. Praised, even.” Bella deadpanned as she shrugged her shoulders as she turned around to change into another shirt. Angela was laughing.

“The worst Bella. You are the worst.” Jess groaned out.

****

As Halloween edged closer and closer, it seemed to have everyone excited. People in class were speaking in low voices about their plans of going out of town to get booze or how they had an in at a college frat party. Bella had asked Jacob if he did anything for the holiday when he came over with Billy in the middle of the week. They were lying in her bed, battling their Pokemon against each other. It wasn’t a game she played in years, but she had found her old red Gameboy and sent a picture to Jacob, who immediately requested a battle.

Jacob stuck his tongue out at he made his Charizard attack. “We don’t really do your white man holidays- sorry, sorry, you’re a quarter Thai, or something, right?”

Bella nodded her head as she attacked back with her Golduck. “Yeah, my mom's half. But, I am basically white so, eh. You were saying?”

“We don’t really celebrate these kind of stuff, but me and my friends are going to take little Seth Clearwater to get candy over here. Taking advantage of the system, you know?” Jacob shrugged his shoulders when his Charizard defeated her Golduck, a smug smile on his face. “The three of us have gotten into this growth spurt, but good little Seth is thirteen and tiny, so…” His smug look turned into a grin. “What about you? Have plans or is Charlie going to have to watch Leonardo DiCaprio movies with you?”

“Shut up, he was cute when he was young. And he’s a good actor.” Bella crossed her arms watching as yet another of Jake’s Pokemon destroyed her own. “Fuck. And- nah. I’m going to my friend’s house.”

“Oh?” Jacob grinned wolfishly. “Gonna party? Going to show the small town folks how city girls party?”

“Shut up.” Bella laughed, the promptly groaned when Jacob defeated her last Pokemon. “Shit. Best three out of five?” They continued their battles, Bella getting increasingly more frustrated with each defeat. At some point she had tried to bribe him into letting her win at least one, but Jacob had no mercy for her.

****

Bella continued to stare at her reflection before she was interrupted to answer her mom's texts. Renee was beyond ecstatic that Bella had friends and wasn’t constantly cooped up in the house with Charlie. Renee made it sound like it was horrible- living with Charlie. Maybe Bella thought Forks was going to be dull and depressing, but she never thought she would hate being around her father. Sure, they were never the closest, but Charlie always tried. He had called on the holidays and her birthday and would text her once in a while to let her know that she was always welcome to visit. He kept this thread of connection to her.

Growing up, when Renee told Bella her story of leaving Charlie, her mother always made her seem entirely justified for leaving. However, the older Bella got and the more time she spent with Charlie, she grew to realize just how selfish Renee had been towards her father. She couldn’t fix her mother's mistakes, her selfishness, but she loved that she had made the choice to live here.

God- it just annoyed her when Renee made these passive aggressive comments. Bella grit her teeth and sent one last text to her mother, throwing her phone onto her bed, where it immediately hid amongst her comforter. She glanced back up at herself.

She had tried to put on a little bit of makeup, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. With a groan she ran over to the bathroom to wash off her face. This wasn’t her thing- it didn’t look right and she didn’t like the feeling of having it on. Bella stared at her face, free of makeup, and smiled at her reflection. Better.

The outfit she had chosen was simple- the pink skirt she had gotten from the thrift store, a flowered blue blouse that was a little too tight in the armpits that Bella had found deep within her clothes, and a pair of sparkly green and pink wings she had picked up at the grocery store the day before when she went to pick up pasta and meat and hot pockets.

The wings kept on bumping into the doorway as she walked past, but she paid it no mind. Better the wings than her shoulder.

Charlie was laying on the couch when Bella walked down the stairs, taking a small nap as Finding Bigfoot played in the background. The several large bags of candy they had was on the coffee table. Bella was about to wake him up to let him know she was going to head out to Jessica’s when the doorbell rang. She quickly snatched up a bag of chocolates and opened the door to see a group of teenage boys with long hair wearing half assed costumes that might have been zombies from the ripped clothes and fake blood on their cheeks.

“Trick or treat!” Jake and his friends yelled out, laughing, holding out their bags- from the cliché pillowcase and the little pumpkin basket in the hands of who must have been Seth Clearwater, seeing as he was the only one about Bella’s height. Shorter, actually.

Bella reached into the bag and gave them each two handfuls. “Nice costumes guys. Put in some real hard work, huh?”

The boys laughed.

“Hey- it’s hard to artfully rip clothes.” A boy with curly hair black hair gestured to his clothes with a grin. “I’m Quil by the way. I’m sure Jake here’s talked all about me- I’m his coolest, most handsome friend.”

Bella shook her head and glanced at Jacob, who was rolling his eyes and pushing at his friends shoulder. “I thought that was Embry?” Jacob had mentioned his best friends the other day, apologizing beforehand for anything Quil might say.

“That sounds about right.” The boy with a hoop earring grinned and pushed back at his straight hair- Embry, most likely. “Thanks for the candy.” Quil kicked at his leg and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

Bella and Jacob shared a wide-eyed grimace and laughed together.

“They always like this?” Bella asked Seth, still grinning.

The kid grinned and shrugged. “Only around beautiful girls.” That earned him another round of large laughs and shoves. As the three boys continued to laugh, Seth leaned over and whispered, “Sorry. I just want Jake and his friends to think I’m cool.”

Bella smiled, “It’s alright Seth.” The five of them spent a few more minutes talking before they decided to move on to get more candy. “Wait, Jake, I’m going to be hanging out at my friends house, I’m sure she won’t mind if you guys come over to eat cupcakes, I’ll text you the address.”

Jake grinned as he stepped across the lawn with long strides. “Cool. Thanks Bells.” He turned around, threw his long arm over Embry’s shoulders and they walked down the street towards the next house. Bella watched them before going back inside to leave Charlie a note and leaving herself.

Jessica’s house wasn’t too far, only taking Bella through one stoplight and only ten minutes in all to park in front of the house. It was a faded yellow color with large, twisting rose bushes in front. The flowers still alive were dying, a dull brown color with little petals over the equally dull yellow grass below. Bella sent Jess a quick text and the front door opened to reveal her friend in a pretty yellow dress and a crown on top of her head.

“Hey! Oh, you look so cute!” Jessica gave her a hug. “We’ll so have to take pictures later to post on Instagram.” She lead Bella inside of her house- in the living room Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale sat as they watched Mike look through the selection of movies Jessica had out, in the kitchen Angela and Alice were making cupcakes and Emmett was stuffing a whole cupcake into his mouth- much to Rosalie’s disgust and Eric’s amusement. Bella found herself in a trance as he shoved a second one in his mouth, until Jessica yelled right next to her. “Mike- I told you we are watching Legally Blonde first, don’t you dare try to switch movies!”

Mike groaned. “Jess! Legally Blonde is not a Halloween movie! Next you’re going to play I- I don’t know- Mean Girls!” He spread out his arms, looking around him for support from Jasper or Edward. Edward just smirked at him and shook his head.

“Mean Girls is a Christmas movie, you dumbass,” Jessica shook her head, her hand brushing back her bushy hair, and started her way over to the kitchen. “We are watching Legally Blonde! We voted on it before you showed up!” Mike stood up to continue bickering with Jessica, following her to the kitchen. Jasper quickly took Mike’s place to put the dvd to play.

Not wanting to surround herself with too much people at once or be in the same general area as an arguing Mike and Jess, Bella carefully took a seat next to Edward, who seemed to be the only one at the party not dressed up for the holiday. Even Jasper was dressed up, with a cowboy hat and a jean jacket. Bella carefully went over what she wanted to say to him. They had talked a few times, but she always felt like a complete fool afterwards, even when they just talked about simple things, like how boring Banner’s class was, she had thing overwhelming feeling that Edward was internally laughing at her seemingly limited knowledge of words.

Bella breathed in. “So, how’d you get away from not dressing up?”

Edward grinned and Bella could see he had one of those bright green plastic vampire teeth in his mouth, the ones that somehow always ended up in with the Halloween candy loot. “I’m a vampire.” He spoke around the toy, causing his voice to come out with a little lisp.

Bella felt her lips twitch and she bumped him with the wings around her shoulder. “Hmm, effective.”

“Very much so.” Edward was still grinning, it made Bella feel like goop. How could one teenage boy be so beautiful? Nobody had ever made her feel so- so- dazzled before him. Also what lotion did the Cullen’s all use that made their skin look so constantly sparkly? It always distracted Bella when she looked over at Edward in the middle of class and all she could see was the pale shine of his skin. “You look pretty.”

Bella felt her face heat up as she murmured a thanks as she looked down at her hands. A cold hand touched her shoulder, startling her. She blinked at Edward, who was holding out an earbud to her. “Want to listen?”

“Is this the part where I learn you’re secretly into Kpop?” Bella asked as she took hold of the earbud, her fingers brushing Edward’s as she did so.

“Nope. I’m afraid that’s Angela.” Edward smirked again, watching as Bella put the earbud to her ear and her hair fell back into place.

It took Bella a second to recognize what exactly she was hearing. The beat was a little poppy and felt light, something she didn’t think Edward would ever listen to. He always seemed so distant, more like he would listen to classical or old school rock. She grinned and tapped her feet as best she could to the beat, though with the smile Edward gave her, she knew she was way off. “This is, uh, Paramore?”

Edward nodded his head. “Yeah, they’re pretty good aren’t they?” Bella nodded her head and they stayed silent, listening, for a few more minutes before everyone migrated into the room to watch the beginning of the movie, plates of different flavored cupcakes being handed around in the semi-circle they had collected themselves into. Bella handed the earbud back to Edward as he paused his music to watch as well.

The whole time watching was full of Emmett excitedly cheering Elle Woods on and quoting lines along with Alice. Before Bella knew it, the movie was rolling the credits and Angela and Jessica were back in the kitchen, producing even more cupcakes and asking Alice if they should try to make cake pops. Apparently, between the three of them, they had brought over a dozen boxes of cake mixes and frostings. Jasper and Emmett were choosing which movie to go with next.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” Edward asked, his honey colored eyes boring into Bella’s when she turned her head towards her.

She ran her hand over the soft fabric of her skirt as she tried to think of what she listened to. In all honesty, she rarely listened to music. It just wasn’t something she cared too much for. Bella pursed her lips and shrugged. “I guess I like the High School Musical soundtrack?”

“High- the one with those boy band brothers?” Edward’s face scrunched up as he thought, his fingers twisting the cord of his headphones around his wrist.

Bella shook her head. “That’s Camp Rock. No, High School Musical is the one with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. He plays basketball, but falls in love with singing and a cute girl? _I’m breaking free… soaring, flying_ … You seriously never seen High School Musical?” It wasn’t that she cared if he did or not, it was just weird that he wouldn’t even know what High School Musical was.

Edward slowly shook his head. “I suppose I simply got lucky on that front.”

Bella shook her head, laughing. “I suppose so. Not all of us can be so sophisticated, listening to Mozart and Paramore.” That earned her a laugh, Edward shaking his head. Bella was about to say more when her phone vibrated in her pocket with a text. She pulled out her phone and saw the text was from Jacob, asking if it was alright if they came over, as well as a picture of Seth grinning and holding up a bag full of candy. Bella smiled and called Jessica, “Hey! Is it okay if my friend Jacob and his friends come over?”

Jessica bit at her lip. “How many are there?”

“It’s just Jake and three other boys. They all fifteen, except for Seth, he’s thirteen I think- wait,” Bella held up her phone with the picture of Seth on the screen. “That’s Seth.”

“Oh he’s so cute! Look, Ange, isn’t he adorable!” She grabbed the phone and showed the picture to Angela, who nodded her distractedly as she stuck another batch of cupcakes into the oven.  “Okay, as long as they eat all these damn cupcakes and are respectful, it’ll be fine.”

Bella texted Jacob back who immediately sent her a series of smiling and thumbs up emojis. She stood up to go wait on the porch for the boys. As she stood up, Mike perked up, opening his mouth, but Edward was speaking before Mike could get a word out, “Mind if I wait outside with you? It’s a bit stuffy in here.” He stood up, looking down at Bella expectantly.

“Sure.” Bella smiled at him before she turned and walked outside. The chilly air immediately hit her bare arms and legs. Bella wrapped her arms around herself, cursing herself for forgetting to bring a jacket when she lived in Forks. Edward silently offered his jacket to Bella, which she gratefully took after she shoved her wings off her shoulders. As she shoved her arms through it, she could smell his scent, a mix of cologne and the general wetness of the town.

Halloween always had this certain air about it, no matter where you lived. She felt the excitement coursing through the air from the children running down the street in their little costumes, their weary mother's trailing behind them. She felt the chill, the sadness, that clung to the air as October was beginning to rid itself to November, another month closer to the end of the year, the start of a new year. Bella tilted her head forward, the wind blowing at her hair, making it spread across her face and into her mouth.

Ugh, damn weather.

Bella spat out her hair, pointedly not glancing towards Edward as she did so.

After a few minutes, Bella spotted the boys walking down the sidewalk, much more subdued than earlier. Despite that, they all waved and grinned when they noticed her. Jacob gave her a warm hug before giving Edward a polite handshake- Seth did the same. Before they went inside, Bella asked if they needed her to give them a ride home or if Jake had driven them.

“My sister dropped us off on her way to a party, I’m not sure if she’ll pick us up though, I think she’ll be drinking a little…” Seth shrugged his shoulders and glanced down the street at a group of kids in bright costumes laughing loudly. “You’ll be sleepy too and I don’t want to take you out of your fun.”

“I’m sure Charlie won’t mind if you guys sleepover.” Bella scratched at her hands as she assured them. “I’ll call him in a bit and see. But, he trusts Jake. And he loves you Seth.” She grinned at him. Seth blushed and grinned.

“Thanks Bella.” Embry gave her a smile that quickly fell when his gaze looked towards Edward, who was starting back inside. Edward left the door slightly open and the all headed in, Bella swinging her wings in her hands as she asked Jacob how his candy adventure had gone. He had wiped away at the fake blood that he had, all of it gathered and dried on his ripped sleeve. Jacob wrapped an arm around Bella’s shoulder as they headed towards the living room.

“Holy shit you guys are huge. Like, tall. Like, wow. What have you been eating?” Jessica blinked when she caught sight of Jake and his friends as she brought more cupcakes into the living room. She held them out and Seth took one in both hands.

“Candy, mostly.” He grinned up at Jessica. “So, what’re we watching? Aw, man, did we miss Legally Blonde?” He looked pointedly at the dvd case that was on the coffee table. Alice giggled as she snuggled up against Jasper.

When Bella and Jacob settled down on the floor, Edward’s knee bumped at her head. She glanced up at him, her tongue out at him without much thought. A split second after his eyes widened with surprise, he grinned at her, a chuckle escaping his lips. He rested his chin on his hand, his honey colored eyes shining as bright as the little sparkles on his skin. Bella was once again taken aback, her own smile small as her heart beat too fast and her face become flushed.

It was then that Bella was certain-

She was in a little deep for Edward Cullen, a boy who liked Paramore and would rather listen to music or shut his eyes to take a quick cat nap then pay attention to Mr. Banner’s lectures and who opened doors for the girls and let water sprinkle into his hair without much care whatsoever and sacrificed for his own body warmth. She knew, it wouldn’t take much more for her to break and say it-

Bella was on her way to a crush.


	2. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really stuck on one part so I was like you know what? delete. and then I actually got somewhere so- yay! hope ya'll enjoy this chapter <3

The dark clouds overhead shifted slowly across the sky. It was interesting to watch their crawl, their effort, to move closer and closer to forks and atop of where Bella lay, in the bed of her truck, to let its rain fall onto Forks. It was these quiet moments, away from her friends, surrounded by the gloom of the town, that Bella would feel that familiar numbness inside her chest. It tickled at her heart as she stared up. 

With a small sigh, Bella turned onto her side, ignoring how uncomfortable the ridges of the bed was. She should leave a blanket in her truck. Maybe even a sleeping bag from the Newton’s store. Bella would never use it for the way it’s intended, but it would be good for these slow mornings when she waited for school to finally start. 

God did Bella hate late start days- why did they even need it? The staff was such a handful they could have their weekly meeting during a lunch break, honestly.

Bella reached out her hand and fumbled to grab at her book, searching for the last place she remembered being. The bookmark had accidently fell out when she had opened and closed the book before deciding to stare up at the clouds for a while. She was so entranced by the little world inside the book, by Dustfinger’s emotions and actions, that she didn’t notice she had incoming company until a knock- two, actually, loud and metallic sounding- shocked her out of her reverie. 

It felt as though the truck even shook for a second- probably Bella’s surprise causing her to jump a little. Bella blinked and placed her bookmark between the pages as she glanced over to see Edward Cullen, a smile on his face, his hands in his jacket pockets. 

“Hey Bella.” Edward leaned forward. 

“Hey.” Bella smiled shyly. Ever since Halloween and her realization, she began to feel even more awkward around Edward, but he seemed to have warmed up to her and didn’t seem to care much about her awkwardness. She sat up and scooched to a corner on the trucks bed. “Climb in.” 

Edward grinned and quickly, gracefully, climbed up into the trucks bed. He sat next to Bella, knees up to his chest, hands on his knees. “What book are you reading?” He asked curiously, looking at the large red paperback in her hands. 

Bella brought up the cover for him to see. “Inkheart. It’s one of my favorites that isn’t a classic. This and His Dark Materials. Fantasy isn’t usually my thing, but there’s this deepness… reality to them that I can never get enough of.” She shrugged her shoulder and let Edward grab her book. His long fingers traced the cracks along the spine, long lines that showed where it often stayed open- her favorite pages, insignificant pages. 

“I’ve never read them. Perhaps I will sometime.” Edward mused as he peeked inside.

“I have all the books. You can borrow them sometime.” Bella offered as she watched his fingers, pale and shining slightly as the little light above hit the glitter that had to be on him, turned at the pages. She swallowed. 

“I’d love that, thank you.” Edward placed the book back onto Bella’s lap. They were silent for a few minutes, Bella back to watching the sky. “What are you thinking about?” Edward asked, his voice small, his eyes, looking closer to a brown color than the honey Bella remembered seeing clearly when they waited out on Jessica Stanley’s porch for Jacob on Halloween, staring intently at her.

It made Bella glance away, feeling embarrassed, her hand coming up to push her hair behind her ear. “Um. I’ve been thinking about Forks. How it’s not as depressing as I thought. Still gets to me sometimes, though. The clouds, they- they hold this sadness with them that.” Bella bit her lip and shook her head. It was dumb and she was never quite one to articulate anything, much like her father in that way. 

“Finish your thought. It’s fine. I want to hear what you have to say.” Edward raised his hand, as though to place onto her shoulder or hand or knee, but dropped it back down to his own knee. His eyes stared at his hands as he said, “I like hearing you speak.”

Bella felt a warmth rush through her. It was the complete opposite of what she had been feeling beforehand, that too familiar numbness. She ducked her head, hair falling back over her face, as she tried to find the words for her thoughts. “It just… they push down on my whole body, kind of? Make my chest ache, my heart feel as though there is nothing there. No beating, no warmth, no… anything.” She screwed up her nose and shook her head. 

“I get that. Though, that feeling has been getting better for me as of late. It helps, I think, to have friends. To open up. Let yourself be.” When Bella lifted her head back, she saw that his head was leaned up, eyes closed, the hard edges and lines of his throat, his Adam’s Apple, visible. “Slowly, the ice that formed will melt.” His lips quirked up and he let out a small chuckle. 

“What are you thinking about?” Bella asked.

“Hmmm.” Edward hummed and moved his head side to side before opening his eyes, looking straight at Bella. “The wonders that is the mortal life.”

Bella laughed at his phrasing. “Yeah, it sure is something.” 

Silence once again overtook their conversation, but they were content to simply sit, Edward pulling out his earbuds to listen to music and Bella back to her book. It didn’t seem like much time had passed before more cars began to park into the lot. Bella heard before she saw as Jessica and Angela came up to the truck, curiously looking towards Edward. 

“Hey Bella, Edward.” Jessica yawned as she gathered her thick hair up to fit into a ponytail. She was acting as though she was unaffected, when Bella knew for a fact that she would be digging for details the moment she had Bella alone or semi secluded. “I was just telling Ange about this new makeup palette I got. Wanna see it?” She reached over towards her backpack.

Bella smiled and nodded her head. “Sure. Is this the one you had been talking about? With the space theme?” Jessica had been gushing about the palette as soon as she learned about it, insisting that there would be colors that she just knew would look great on Bella, if she ever wanted to wear some.

“Yes!” Jessica nodded her head in excitement, her ponytail bobbing up and down. “They are so glittery and cute and I’m actually wearing some of it right now! See! Oh, shit, Edward is Alice around? I know she’d love to see this!” She blinked her eyes so Angela and Bella could see the shining pale blue eyeshadow over her lids. It was pretty, though Bella couldn’t see herself with any of it on herself.

“Al should be in the cafeteria with Emmett and Jasper.” Edward mumbled, his head tilted to the side, his eyes squinted. As Bella stood to leave with Jess and Angela, Edward began to stand up as well, “I should get out of your truck then. It was nice speaking to you Bella.”

Bella stopped with one leg over her truck, blinking at Edward. “You can stay here if you like. Not like you’re going to throw a rager and trash my truck.” She gave him a smile that he returned. 

Edward looked down at his phone in his hand before nodding, smile still on his face. “Cool.” His voice was low, nearly washed out by a loud laugh from Jessica, bit Bella still heard him. As she walked off, the smile on her face was large, her mind off, thinking about Edward Cullen instead of the glittery eyeshadow Jessica was enthusiastically talking about. When they sat at a table with three-fifths of the Cullen’s, Jessica pulled out the makeup palette, Bella’s mind still far away and slightly giddy. 

 

When Bella opened the door to the house after spending the afternoon studying with Angela, she was surprised with a greeting with some creature that swiftly bounded towards her. Bella gave a surprised shout and jumped back before realizing that she was looking at a dog- a black dog with a splatter of white fur along its nose and back, its long tail wagging back and forth, its breathing hard and excited as it stared up at her, whining slightly. 

“Um.” Bella breathed out, her eyes searching around for her father. She could hear him moving around dishes in the kitchen. “Dad? Why is there a dog in the house?”

Charlie walked into the living room, a smile on his face and a hand towel slung over his shoulder. “Hey Bells.” He leaned against the doorway, his hand raising up to brush at his mustache. 

“Dog.” Bella said dumbly, back to staring at the dog, whose attention was now on Charlie, bounding towards him. 

“Oh. Yeah. His family just left him out with a sign, saying they didn’t want him anymore so… I took him.” Charlie shrugged his shoulders and scratched the top of the dogs head. The dog's tail thumped hard and quick against the carpet in his contentedness. “Couldn’t leave him there and it was in a part of town not a lot of folks go. And who knows what kind of Bigfoot could have snatched him.”

Bella snorted and shook her head. Ever since her first night in Forks when Bella rightfully said that she did not believe in Bigfoot, Charlie found some sort of excuse to mention the mythical creature. “Okay. Guess we got a dog then. What’s his name?” She raised her eyebrows as she waited for her father to answer. 

Finally, with a sheepish smile, Charlie said, “Charlie.”

“You got us a dog named Charlie?” At his name, the dog turned his head turned Bella, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Bella laughed and shook her head. “God Jake is gonna love this!” She strolled over to her dad’s side and gave him a small hug. Charlie the dog pressed his wet nose to Bella’s knee. With a sigh, Bella crouched down to pet at his head. He grinned at her.

 

No matter how long she lay in bed, Bella couldn’t find sleep. It wasn’t because of the rain pattering at her window, she had long since gotten used to that. The rain was a now familiar background noise, the same as the late night traffic had been back in Phoenix. And it wasn’t the loud snoring coming from Charlie a few rooms down, or Charlie the dog who had dragged his bed into Bella’s room and was sleeping and snoring like his namesake. Those two were new background noise Bella was content with. 

No- Bella wasn’t quite sure what kept her mind so awake. With a sigh, Bella twisted the knob of the lamp on her bedside table, a warm light emitting in a small portion of her room. She fumbled for a second as she went to grab her book, effectively waking up Charlie the dog, who simply blinked at her before setting his head back down. 

‘Sorry,’ she mouthed to the dog. 

She sat up straighter as she read her book, but after a few minutes, she couldn’t seem to concentrate right on what she was reading so Bella placed her book back down. What was her problem? Bella closed her eyes and rested her head against her beds headboard as she tried to sort out her thoughts. 

There was Charlie the dog who needed a bath. Charlie her father who Bella wanted to know she was fully supportive of his relationship. Her and Jacob. They loved their fathers so much, and their happiness, and would often talk about if they should hint at them knowing of something so that they would finally say something to them. It broke her heart when she saw how Charlie would look at Billy, but tried to hide it. He deserved to be happy. Charlie had never done anything bad- he cared for Bella, for his parents, for the town of Forks, for his friends. 

Was it because she was angry at Renee?

That she hadn’t texted her mom back since halloween- and didn’t feel like it because each time the spoke it caused Bella to feel another wave of- of anger at her mother. Bella reached for her phone and stared at her mom's contact until her eyes began to droop and finally, finally, she was drifting off.

 

Jessica handed the bocce ball to Bella with a serious look on her face, her bright purple lips pursed. “Bella, babe, you got this. You throw this ball and get it as close to the starting point and we will win this round against Mike. We will have bragging rights. I believe in you.” 

“Bad call Jess.” Mike shrugged his shoulders when Jessica glared at him. “What, you know I’m right!”

“Shut up Mike!” Jessica stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to Bella. “Isabella Swan. You got this. Do not listen to a thing the white devil over there is spouting. Throw and win. You got this.” 

Bella restrained herself from saying that she was certain that Mike had the right idea. There was no way Bella would get this win for them. She sucked at everything slightly related to sports. It was like her body made her incapable at it all. She was given a boon at birth that made her forever clumsy. Instead of voicing her thoughts, she gave Jessica a thumbs up, which she happily gave Bella back. With a deep breath, Bella tossed the ball, which fell and rolled and- hit one of the Mike and his partners ball, rolling it away.

“Fuck yeah!” Jessica cheered as she threw her arms around Bella's neck and pressed her lips against her cheek with a large smack before pulling away, laughing. “That’s what you get Mike! This round is ours!”

They played another round, getting a final win much to Jessica’s excitement, before they made their way back to the locker rooms. Bella quickly walked towards her locker, Jessica already pulling off her shirt despite not being close to her locker. Her bright pink bra and the way her curls bounced against her collar bone caught Bella’s attention before she looked away, face warm, head down as her fingers fumbled with her lock. Jessica was speaking, but Bella wasn’t quite hearing her words as she turned and undressed herself, her eyes catching on the sight of the long, shiny stretch marks along Jessica’s thighs. As Jessica turned and shoved on her pair of pants, Bella shook her head and found the odd limbo she was in gone. 

“Shit.” She muttered as she grabbed her sweater. 

“You find a stain?” Jessica asked, her voice slightly distracted as she dug through her purse to grab her perfume bottle. The flowery scent was a little overwhelming.

Bella shook her head. “No, I just thought of something.” 

 

Bella absently pet at Charlie the dog’s head as she tilted her head back and forth, trying to gather up her words. It was odd, realizing that she was possibly developing a bit of a crush on one of her friends at the same time she was absolutely smitten with Edward Cullen. The Jessica thing was probably all a fluke anyways- it had to be that kiss that threw Bella out of whack. This was just how it went sometimes, a little crush on a friend because they did something nice towards you. Bella eyed Jacob, who was laying face down, his hand stroking Charlie’s leg. 

“I think I accidently got a crush on my friend Jessica. It should be gone in a week.” Bella mumbled, her eyes stuck on the streak of white on the dog. 

Jacob made a deep sound before turning his head slightly. “Hate when that happens. I had a crush on Embry for three days because he brushed my hair back and whispered a joke in my ear. I hated it, it was the absolute worst. Embry’s not even that cute.” 

“It’s the piercing.” Bella pointed out. 

“Yeah.” Jacob laughed as he brought a hand up to hide his face for a moment. When he set his hand back down, he was still grinning.

“Jessica kissed my cheek because I helped win our bocce game.” Bella sighed as she remembered the press of her cold lips and the warmth of her arms around her neck. 

“Sorry Bells, not to distract from the conversation, but what kind of white nonsense is bocce?” Jacob laughed loudly, causing Charlie the dog to startle slightly. “Sorry Charles. It’s alright boy, settle down, it’s alright.” He pressed a kiss to the dogs leg.  As Bella tried to explain the game the best she could through Jacob’s interruptions to laugh and poke fun at her and the game. “Oh man, I swear, I think that this is the only game in history that your clumsy ass can play.”

It was true, but Bella still scowled at him and shoved at his shoulder. “Whatever.”

Jacob grinned and didn’t even budge from his spot. “Hey, so… how’s this friend crush on Jessica affecting that crush you have on that Cullen kid? What’s his name again? Fredward?” He leaned forward slightly, his eyebrows wiggling as he stared into Bella’s eyes. 

Her heart sped up and she felt her face heat up even as she snorted at her friends dumb joke. Maybe Bella had internally realized that she may have a big crush on Edward Cullen, but it was a different thing entirely actually discussing it. To act like it was something that could ever happen. “I- I do  _ not _ have a crush on Edward Cullen!”

Jacob only shrugged his shoulders and raised his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, you do not have a crush on Squidward.”

“And- well, even if I did, it’s probably going to go away just like this Jessica thing!” Hopefully. Just- she didn’t really know Edward all that much besides the fact that he had the sexiest voice that a seventeen year old could ever have, had no idea what High School Musical was, could quote lines from Legally Blonde under his breath, and had an intense love for music. Plus- she wasn’t lying. Bella didn’t have a crush on Edward Cullen, not yet anyways. 

There was a charge, though. A stutter in her step and a pushing inside her chest that had all the built up potential for one. Instead of bearing any more of her soul to Jake, she childishly stuck her tongue out at him.

After a few more minutes of joking around, they headed back downstairs to grab a few slices of pizza and lounge in the living room with their fathers, who were more interested in talking to each other than paying attention to whatever game was on. Bella let Charlie the dog lick a pepperoni from her fingers, which caused a small debate on whether or not they should give the dog people food. 

“We used to give Huck scraps and old leftovers.” Jacob pointed out to Billy, who was scowling at Charlie the dog for getting a little too close to him with begging eyes and a little whine in his throat.

Billy frowned as he wiped his slightly greasy fingers on a napkin. Charlie the dog’s eyes followed the napkin’s movements. “I hate that you can form actual arguments with points now.”

“Don’t worry dad. When I get to Bella’s age I won’t be as big of a rascal as she is.” Jacob ruffled her hair and grinned up at Billy, who only shared a look with Charlie and shook his head. “Hey, what’s that mean? I’m literally your best kid!” 

“You’re my best son.” Billy answered, not quite under his breath, a twinkle in his eyes and a grin on his lips. Jacob just lightly kicked up at his dads knee as he laughed. 

Bella loved this- family. Before she had came to Forks, her only family was Renee. Phil was around and was nice, but she never could consider him to be a parental figure for her, someone who should could have serious conversations and joke around with. It was only ever Renee. It made her chest rush with a warmth as she looked at her father, smiling a little silly as he looked over at Billy, reminding her of that lovestruck look from old photos in the photobook book he kept, of Charlie and Renee before the depression and all the little bad things that piled up between them.

That look- that was why, after they waved from the porch as they watched Jacob drive off and went to pack away the leftovers, Bella found herself speaking up and mentioning her father's relationship for the first time. 

“I’m really glad you have Billy.” Bella said, her voice a little shaky as she crouched down in front of the cabinet of containers, her hands gripping hard at the Ziploc gallon bag cardboard box, causing it to squish a little under her fingers. She could feel Charlie’s eyes on her. “I always worried about you so it makes me happy that you have someone like him.”

Charlie’s voice was a little strained and gruff when he spoke up. “Do you-”

“I know.” Bella stood up. Slowly, she turned to face her father, who was looking down at his hands, his lips pursed. Bella stepped forward, her hands raised up for a second as she was unsure how to move forward. After a second she placed her hand over his. “Dad, I love you so much. And I love Billy. I- I’m not all that great at emotions, but this is something I need you to know. You don’t have to act like he isn’t such a large part of your life.” 

“I’m sorry. I just could never find the right time and… it’s hard. Telling someone.” Charlie shrugged his shoulders. “We only told Harry and Sue Clearwater. When you moved here, we started discussing whether or not to tell you kids, but I could never say it. I.” He licked his lips and pulled his hand away from hers to scratch at his cheek. “I wanted to. Just didn’t want you to- I don’t know- hate me?”

That was ridiculous. Then again-

Bella lived her whole life away from her father with only a sporadic summer visit before being shipped right back home. She had cared for Charlie, of course she did he’s her father, but he was never like Renee, who was on the forefront of her mind. She loved him, but if Renee never got remarried would Bella even be here?

The thought of never coming here, to meet all of the wonderful friends that she had and to share these small moments with Charlie, who, before, had only been her awkward father who would call on holidays and birthdays and who she thought only offered her to stay with him as a courtesy, hurt.

“I could never hate you Daddy.” Bella blinked her eyes, hoping that she could hold back the tears that were threatening to escape. Why was this happening? She hated crying. It exhausted her and made her want to sleep and lie in bed all day without moving. She used to cry a lot back in Phoenix whenever she felt this same pressure in her chest, even when nothing happened.

“You haven’t called me Daddy since… well, I don’t think you ever had.” Charlie laughed. It sounded a little wet, but Bella didn’t say a thing. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He set his hands onto her shoulders and lowered his head a bit to look her in the eyes. 

Bella shrugged her shoulders. 

“Come on Bells. Talk to me.” 

That was all it took before the dam that held back her emotions broke- the tears fell from her eyes and she found her mouth moving. “I just- I just wish that we were closer and that Mom never left or- or no because you and Billy, but- but- I never thought so, but I love it here. And I hate that with everyday here I realize just how- how selfish Mom was for leaving.” When Charlie held her close to her chest, so close that she could hear the thumping beat of his heart and his ragged breathing, Bella let it happen. 

It felt nice. 

She was never really a touchy, lovey kind of person, but this was nice. She couldn’t quite hear what Charlie was saying, but she knew that this night was a step forward for them both.

 

The rain pelted against Bella as she hurriedly walked through the schools parking lot. It was too much of her to hope to not get too wet- it was a particularly bad day in Forks. It had her mood down, along with the fact that since her conversation with Charlie, even though they had attempted to talk about things, Bella had been feeling much more depressed than usual. She would wake up and cry silently in her blankets, gritting her teeth together so neither Charlie heard her and got worried.

When Bella pushed open the doors of the cafeteria, her jacket and jeans were absolutely soaked and she felt like a wet dog. She even smelled a little like one, since Charlie the dog had decided to bum-rush her before she could make it out the front door. Ugh, stupid smelly gross dog. Why couldn’t Charlie had picked up a little cat that couldn’t knock Bella against a door with excitement? Not that she didn’t love the dog. She simply preferred cats. 

A few other kids were around, equally as wet and depressed looking where they sat, all except for Emmett Cullen, who was drumming a beat against the table him and his adoptive siblings were sitting. Bella stepped towards them, wondering if they would mind if she sat with them. Even if they were all kind of friends, the Cullens were still a little reclusive and tended to keep more to themselves. Bella had waved at Jasper once in a hallway and he stared right past her. That sucked. 

Just as she was about to chicken out and sit at an empty chair to wait for Angela and Jessica or even Tyler Crowley, who was one of the earliest to come to school due to his notorious horrible driving skills that could rival Bella’s own- Edward turned his head back, their eyes meeting from across the room. 

His mouth shifted from a small frown to a bright smile- lips closed, but still wide, reaching towards his eyes. Immediately, Bella smiled right back at him and brought her hand up in a tiny wave. He moved his head to the side- it took Bella a few dumb seconds to realize he was gesturing for her to come sit with them. Ignoring the slight look Rosalie was giving her, Bella sat next to Edward. 

“Hey.” She smiled at him as she shoved her backpack off her shoulders and onto the ground, next to her feet. 

“Hello.” Edward placed his chin on top his hand, giving her a warm smile that had Bella’s chest burst, as though she wasn’t cold and soaked and wanting to drown in all the water accumulating outside. “I got something for you.”

Bella blinked. “Oh?” 

She was about to say that it was fine-he didn’t need to give her anything and why was he anyways- when Emmett spoke up. “Yeah, Eddie’s been working hard on it.” He stopped drumming his hands against the table and was now instead grinning widely, his hands now pulling at the strings of his sweatshirts hoodie. Bella bit at her lower lip as she watched the hood scrunch up and the strings pulled at mismatching lengths. What kind of monster so casually did that? “Been forced to hear more Paramore than I care for.”

“Paramore is good.” Edward countered with a dramatic roll of his eyes as he unzipped his backpack, his body turned away from Bella as he searched for whatever he had for her.

“Yeah if you’re emo maybe.” Emmett rolled his own eyes before he threw a large arm over his sisters shoulders. “Al agrees with me, right Al?”

Alice hummed as she tilted her head to the side in thought. “It’s been growing on me actually. There’s something about them that has me enthralled. Though, really, I think you all should listen to more Marina and the Diamonds. I don’t know why you insist on not listening to them Emmy, I know that you will love her!”

“You see that?” Emmett raised an eyebrow. 

Bella wasn’t able to hear Alice’s response- something hard lightly hit the top of her head, causing her to jump slightly as she turned to look back at Edward. His dark eyes were trained on her, his hands up, gripping whatever he had tapped her head with. He lowered his hands and held out a small plastic case. The front cover had Edward’s spindly cursive-

“[For Bella- to expand your listening from its exclusive high school musical cd](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2pwGM1GKKiYDbIijxct5Wd).” She read aloud, a laugh in her voice. She turned the cd over and glanced over the neat print of the names of the songs. “Oh cool Lorde. She has some really good songs. And Vampire Weekend- I actually really like that song!  _ In December drinking Horchata _ .” Oh God why was she singing? Her voice was horrible and she was acting dumb, but Edward simply smiled happily as she spoke. “This is really nice of you, thank you Edward.”

Edward shrugged his shoulder and hugged his backpack close to his chest. “It was no problem. Honestly it was a lot of fun. I was thinking to, um, make you another one? Full of No Doubt and Thao and the Get Down Stay Down, some pop-rock songs, something more lively then this playlist. If you’d like.” He bit at his lip, his fingers fiddling with the little Alaska keychain on his bag. 

“I’d love that. Thanks so much. No ones ever made me a cd before.” She continued to examine that case, admiring his handwriting, so different from her chicken scratch. Bella could never get a handle on cursive, despite her mother's efforts when she was in the third grade. Bella slid the cd into her bag. 

“I told you she’d love it!” Alice exclaimed as she clapped her hands excitedly, her metallic silver colored nails glinting with the lights above. They sat together for a little longer, Bella mostly listening to the Cullen’s interacting- which was a lot of poking fun at Edward, who sat with his hand over his mouth, pointedly not looking at his adoptive siblings, and urging Jasper to speak because they claimed he had the dorkiest southern accent. 

“I think Jess would’ve raved if Jasper had an accent.” Bella said skeptically, squinting at Jasper. His dyed blonde hair was pulled out of his face with a large silver butterfly hairpin that matched the ones in Alice’s hair, his lips pulled down in a frown as he stared back at Bella. She couldn’t imagine Jasper Hale having a southern accent. 

Rosalie sure didn’t have one. Then again, cousins didn’t have to have the same accents did they? Maybe they grew up separately before they moved in together before the Cullens began to foster them? The thinking hurt her head a little bit so instead she just shook her head. He had an accent or he didn’t, it was as simple as that. 

“Jazzy doesn’t really talk a lot.” Alice shrugged her shoulders. “But I promise you, he totally has an accent. It’s so adorable. He says  _ darlin’ _ and  _ bees knees _ .” Her voice dropped and had a drawl in what Bella assumed was a bad imitation of her boyfriend. Jasper’s lips twitched, but stayed in a frown, even when his girlfriend began to poke at his cheek and speak in nothing but a series of southern catchphrases. 

Bella shook her head as she laughed. “As fun as this is, I should get going to my first period. Um, thanks for the cd Edward.” She gave him a smile, a smile that she felt spoke of everything she felt for him and wouldn’t that be horrible, she hoped it didn’t, gave them all an awkward little wave and walked off. 

 

There was a slight excitement that hung in the air that had Bella shaking her leg under the table and not quite paying attention to the talk going on around her. It was friday, the last day before their week off for Thanksgiving break. She didn’t celebrate- Renee’s mother had never really adopted the holiday- but the energy around her was seeping into her as the excitement of her peers and her friends built itself up. A whole week off to relax and read- it was exciting and Bella knew she would be zoned out in her final classes. 

Everyone at Bella’s table was excitedly discussing their plans for the break and where they would be spending the holiday. Bella was more invested in her running mental list of what she was going to try to get down over the break that it took Angela shaking her arm to realize that she had been asked a question. 

“Sorry, uh, what?” Bella felt herself blush as she turned towards Jessica, ignoring her friends giggling at her for zoning out on them. 

Jessica just smiled as she said, “I asked if you have any plans with your dad or your mom or something?” 

Bella shook her head, her hand coming up to push her hair behind her ear. “Oh, no. It’s not really a thing with my mom and Charlie’s… if I tell you guys something do you promise not to say?” She stared seriously at Jessica’s eyes, who nodded, just as seriously. The rest of the table agreed- and Bella found that she actually trusted their word enough that they wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t want them to. It’s not that she was embarrassed, but Charlie had asked for her to keep his relationship ‘on the down low’ (his words), and she didn’t want it to get out. “My dad’s dating my friend Jacob’s dad.”

“Oh the tall kid?” Jessica blinked. “Oh, so since they’re native and, like, genocide and everything, I see. Though, wait, I mean, is Thanksgiving even about that anymore? I feel like now it’s more about pigging out, football, and, like, consumerism.” 

“Honestly!” Angela piped up with a wild nod of her head. “I don’t know, I think it’s kind of a hard subject to go around.”

“I am going to make a ham and me and my dad are going to attempt to make pies together. You know, for family time. So I guess that counts a little bit?” Bella shrugged her shoulders and began to dig into her food. When the bell rang, Bella gathered her food and quickly made her way over next to Edward, who was leaning against the table he had been sitting at with his siblings. The second she was next to him, Edward stood up straighter and began to walk in step with her. “So, uh, are you excited for the break?”

Edward simply tilted her head to the side in a so-so gesture. “I kind of like the structure of school. It’s a distraction. When I’m at home all day, I don’t quite know what to do with myself.”

“Oh, I get that. That’s why I try to list out what I want to do, gives me something to do.” Bella nodded her head. She nearly tripped when someone stepped on the back of her shoe, but Edward reached out a hand to grasp at her arm and steadier her. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Edward smiled before turning his head away. “That sounds like a good idea.” They were silent for a minute as they trekked through the slightly soggy grass of the field toward the building with Banner’s class. Finally, Edward looked up and asked, “Have you been listening to the cd I made you?”

Bella had in fact been listening to it- a lot. She would even take it out of her truck sometimes to listen to it in her room, having it play on the old silver radio that still had a Wizards of Waverly Place sticker stuck on it, as she did her homework or lay in bed reading. “Yes, I have. I really enjoy it. All the songs are just- lovely. They fit together and set a perfect little mood. Thanks again for it Edward. It was really nice of you to make.”

Edward grinned and Bella had to glance away- it was too bright to look at for too long. “I’m really glad you enjoy it.” He held open the door for her and Bella gave him a tight smile of her own, and before she knew it, they were sitting in class, waiting for Banner to start talking about his powerpoint. Bella doodled a little mouth full of sharp teeth in her notes margin as the long minutes passed before the final bell rang.

 

During the break, Bella spent a lot of time reading and doing some homework ahead of time or heading over to La Push to hang out with Jacob and his friends. It was fun hanging out with them- they were ridiculous and didn’t hide it. By the end of the week, Bella had acquired her very own Billy Black jacket that was now her own- a dark washed denim jacket that didn’t quite generate warmth, but made Charlie smile wide whenever he saw her wear it around the house. They shared the pies they made with the Blacks, who ate them with vigor, despite them not being very good in Bella or Charlie’s eyes. 

On the monday back to school, Bella packed herself a container full of ham and mashed potatoes for her lunch and was so excited to see her friends again that she almost dropped the container in her excited little turn towards her backpack. They had briefly texted on thursday, but it hadn't been much.

Actually- it had been the longest that Bella had spent without talking to them all. It was odd, not speaking to Jess or Angela everyday. Equally odd was how used to it-them- she had become. It was great, having friends.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the playlist that Edward made for Bella is mostly what I listen to while writing this lol (also I prolly spent way too much time making sure all the songs were out before 2015 or nov 2015... but it was worth it) 
> 
> thanks for reading chapter two <3


	3. December

Bella reached her hand into the soft pink hat in the middle of the table, full of folded paper ripped out of individual notebooks, to drop her own paper inside. Jessica and Alice had eagerly came up with the idea of having a friends secret santa along with a christmas party during their break the night before in the groupchat and were quick to gather everyone in it by lunchtime.

“Alright, everyone put their name in?” Alice grinned as she shuffled the papers inside her hat. She walked along the table, letting everyone pick out a name. Bella grabbed at one and quickly peeked inside- Alice’s name was written in a loopy cursive with a light pink pen.

What could Bella possibly give Alice Cullen? Maybe makeup or some cute hair pins? It seemed like she already had everything in the world she already wanted, but she was so happy about even the littlest of things- when someone folded up a paper in the shape of a heart and gave it to her, the crappy little friendship bracelet Angela’s little brother made for her, how she loved to squish her boots in the mud- that Bella was pretty sure that she would be excited to receive a gift from a friend.

As the lunch bell rang, Bella walked with Mike and Edward towards Banner’s class. Most times her and Edward were able to dodge Mike- who, he was nice, they were friends, but Bella could feel the intense energy he tried to put her way sometimes and it made her feel uncomfortable- but they couldn’t this time. So Bella walked in between them, paying more attention to the game of Temple Run she had started on her phone and the light touch of Edward’s hand on her elbow as he helped guide her around people.

“Who’d you get for secret santa?” Mike asked.

Bella shrugged and tilted slightly to the left as she moved her phone to avoid a rock. “Why would I tell you? It’s a secret.” Next to her, she could hear Edward muffling his laughter with his free hand. Momentarily distracted, Bella fell off the path, the characters legs still running until he dropped down into the unknown. “Crap.”

“Yeah, you’re- you sure are right about that. But, um. Nevermind.” Mike sighed. “Are you ready for the test with Banner right now?”

Bella nodded her head. “Yeah, it shouldn’t be hard. Banner’s tests are honestly really easy for me. I think Banner thinks I cheat off Edward though? He always gives me these weird looks.”

Edward spoke up, his voice so low that Mike had to lean over slightly to try to hear, but Bella could tell he still hadn't been able to catch what Edward had said when he pulled back, still looking utterly confused. “Sorry for my harsh words, but Banner’s just an asshole.”

That was new- a lot of kids had major crushes on him, be it an actual crush or just that they enjoyed his class. “Is he?” Bella tried to think of a time where the man could be classified as an asshole. She couldn’t quite think of anything, but Edward had been in Forks for longer than her, so what would she know. She shrugged her shoulders as she put her phone into her back pocket as they arrived in the classroom.

Bella took out a pencil, grabbed her notebook, and silently perused her notes as she waited for class to begin.

 

Charlie the dog, apparently, found it necessary to step into every single puddle he could. Bella attempted to side step each one, but the dog plowed on, so Bella heaved a sigh and let the dog do as he pleased. At least he was decent enough on the leash. Bella was calmly walking him when she heard a rustle from the trees close by. Charlie stopped walking and stared intently at where the noise came from, a “boof” of a bark escaping his lips.

“Oh dog?” Emmett Cullen laughed as he stepped out of the forest. He grinned over at Bella before dropping down in a crouch to pet Charlie the dog. “I didn’t know you had a pitbull! How cute! What’s his name?”

Bella opened her mouth, wondering if she should ask why he had been in the forest, before deciding to look past it. Instead she answered his question as she watched the dog lick at Emmett’s face. “Charlie.”

Emmett paused for a second before laughing. “Isn’t that Chief Swan’s name? Holy shit, lemme…” He pulled out his phone and began to take a flurry of pictures. “Al’s gonna fucking love this! She loves dogs, but Dad doesn’t let us have any because of Jazz.”

“Is Jasper allergic to dogs?” Bella asked. Emmett stood up, held his hand out for the leash, and they began to walk.

“Uhhh, yeah, sorta?” Emmett shrugged his shoulders. “I had a pitbull back when I was a kid! God they’re so cute. It’s a shame how bad of a rap they get nowadays, they’re such huge sweethearts.” As they walked, Bella listened as Emmett spoke- which was a lot. He was as excitable and outgoing and full of chit-chat as his little sister. Bella had spoken to him several times, because he had a tendency to find someone and stick to them like glue, but he mostly stuck close to his adoptive siblings or Eric Yorkie.

Actually, he spent a lot of time with Eric, with his arm draped over his shoulders or his hand ruffling the boys hair.

“Are you actually dating Rosalie?” Bella found herself asking, interrupting whatever story Emmett was in the middle of telling. “Sorry, um, that was rude of me.”

The large young man shrugged his shoulders and continued to grin at Bella. “You’re curious, that’s fine. Everyone is. Nobody ever asks out right, but I guess I can see why Al and Eddie think you’re interesting.” He stepped around a puddle.

That information immediately made Bella step into the puddle, the bottom of her jeans becoming soaked. Bella cursed under her breath as her mind twirled. Edward thought she was interesting. What did that even mean? Was he interested in her in a dating sense or just as a friend. Was it in a ‘wow this girl is so clueless and clumsy it’s interesting to watch her stumble around her feet’ kind of way that she knew a lot of guys at Forks felt whenever they openly laughed when she tripped over nothing? Was it in the same way Jessica and Angela loved to ask her questions about Phoenix and about Bella in general to get to know her more? Did Edward want to know her?

She was dragged out of her thoughts when Emmett heaved a sigh. “Yeah, nah. Me and Rose aren’t a thing. It kind of spread because I kissed her cheek this one time and everyone knows we aren’t really related by blood and Jazz and Al can’t fucking keep it in their pants so everyone just sort of assumes what they want. Rosalie- she’s my big sister. She cares about me. That’s it. We’re both... We’re both hella fucking gay, actually.” Emmett glanced back at Bella, his usual grin now a small smile, for once looking unsure of himself.

Bella placed a hand on his large bicep. His jacket felt as cold as the wind hitting them. “That’s cool. So… Eric Yorkie?”

“Oh fuck, Eric Yorkie. He’s so cute!” Emmett threw his head back and groaned. His dark curls fell off his forehead and shifted with the wind until her straightened back up. They spent some more time talking about Eric, until Emmett began to tease Bella, asking if she had her own crush on anyone in town. “Let me guess- it’s the cute Quilete kid with the ear piercing?” He raised his own hand to flick at the odd earring he had.

“Embry?” Bella laughed as she shook her head. A lock of hair made way inside her mouth and she spat it out. “No way, he’s a kid basically. Stop digging around! I don’t really have a thing for anyone. I’m here to spend time with my dad, not date. I wasn’t even interested in anyone back in Phoenix, why would that change now?”

“Sounds pretty defensive to me.” Emmett said. When Bella turned towards him, her face beginning to heat up, Emmett sighed, “Sorry, sorry. I know this must be a hard time for you, realizing that the cutest Cullen kid is a fruit cake. You must be heartbroken.” The grin he turned her way made the corners of his eyes wrinkle. A giggle escaped his lips.

It wasn’t long until Bella found herself dissolving into giggles with him.

After one morning of talking to Emmett Cullen, she learned that he had an immense love for the eighties and for dogs, liked to collect cool rocks he found, and he thought that Esme Cullen was the kindest person to ever exist. He talked non-stop about his adoptive mother once the topic was brought up, talking about how tiny she was and the stories from the local preschool she worked at. When they arrived back at Bella’s house, Emmett stuck around, the two of them sharing some sweet potatoes fries Charlie had made when she was out for the walk. After half an hour, Emmett shot up, gave Bella another grin, and said that he should be getting home.

“He’s a good kid.” Charlie said as Bella shut the door behind Emmett.

She threw herself down on top of the recliner, pulling the Virgin Mary blanket closer to herself. Why her dad even had a Virgin Mary blanket was beyond her, none of them were religious, but it was warm. Maybe it had once belonged to Charlie's parents? Pushing back the thought for another time, Bella said, “He’s nice. Talkative, but nice. Charles likes him, then again he likes anything that breathes.”

“Tell that to the poor frog he ripped apart in the backyard.” Charlie muttered as he sat on the sofa, pointing out towards the back. “Chuck destroyed the poor thing.”

Bella scrunched up her nose in disgust. That dog had licked at her hands and at Emmett Cullen’s face. His mouth had killed a frog. And while Bella knew that it was a myth that frogs gave people warts, she found herself slightly worrying about it. “Ew, he’s so gross.” Her father just shrugged his shoulders as he put on a episode of X-Files.

 

Bella had never been in snow before. It was something that happened, she was sure it did, but never in Phoenix. When she was a kid, it seemed fun, since she saw cartoons and movies where characters had a fun time making snowmen and rolling around in it, but the older she got, the idea of snow wasn’t as enjoyable anymore. It was water. Solid water that would melt and get into her clothes- just like the rain- but it was colder.

She wrapped herself in a one of her father’s large coats, above her own jacket, as she carefully stepped outside. Charlie was finishing up making sure her tires would be alright. Bella shivered as she came up next to him. “Is it good?”

“Yup. She’ll hold. You stay safe, alright? Call me when you get to school so I don’t worry all damn day, okay?” He gave her a quick hug as Bella nodded her head. She climbed into her car, give him a nod, and, as carefully as she had stepped out into the yard, drove towards the school.

As she got into the school parking lot, she noticed that the few students who were here early were all out, collecting snow to ball up and throw at each other, laughing loud enough that Bella could hear them as she parked her truck. Bella sighed, let her hands hover over the heat coming from the air conditioner for a second longer before she opened the door and walked out into the cold.

“Bella! Hey!” Alice shouted from where she stood, looking unfairly warm in her long purple coat and thick leggings and leg warmers. She raised an arm to wave, grinning brightly. Her short hair was covered by a rainbow colored beanie that had a large pink puff on the very top that bounced as she did. When Bella stepped close to her, Alice wrapped her arms around her shoulders as she stood on her tiptoes so her cold cheek touched Bella’s. “You’re so warm! Oh! Emmy showed me your adorable little dog! I’m jealous that he got to spend time with you outside school! We’ve never done that!”

Bella blinked as she pulled away a little from Alice- despite her warm clothes, her skin was freezing cold. Alice stayed on her tiptoes as her honey colored eyes pierced into Bella’s, her lips jutted out in a pout. “Uh. Maybe we can hang out sometime, if you’d like. It’d be, uh, it’d be fun.”

“It would be fun! How about friday night? Sleepover at my place? My parents won’t mind- Esme would _love_ to make you something, she loves showing off her cooking skills! I could pick you up at your house around five or so? So?” She raised her eyebrows, high enough that they disappeared slightly under the hat on her head.

Bella smiled as she tilted her head towards the cafeteria. “You come inside with me and I’ll sleepover at your house friday.”

Alice grinned as she finally dropped down onto her feet, clutched her hand to the crook of Bella’s elbow, and began to lead Bella towards sweet, wonderful, warmth. “Okay! Let’s go!” As they passed the group playing with snow, Edward gave them a small wave before getting a pile of snow dumped over his head and Emmett on his shoulders, the both of them laughing as they began to wrestle. “Boys,” Alice rolled her eyes as Bella bit back a laugh.

 

Somedays, Bella didn’t want to spend the lunch hour with a whole group of people, so, instead she set ahead a text to Jessica that she’d be in the library. The Forks library was pretty nice- it had shelves she could hide behind if she wanted to, if she found a book that caught her attention and wanted to sit on the comfortable carpet, and there was even couches to the side of the tables were people studied sometimes. Bella sat on one of the couches, curled up as much as she could without putting her shoes onto the sofa, stuck in her earbuds as she read a book she had taken off the shelf.

She was so immersed that when a cold hand pressed against her shoulder, Bella jumped slightly and nearly let out a small shout. Nearly. Somehow her body saved herself from complete embarrassment. Bella glanced up to see Edward, his disheveled hair hidden underneath Alice’s rainbow beanie and his own earbuds in his ears, leaning down to his coats pocket where he kept his phone. Bella turned off her music and took out her own earbuds.

“Hey.” Bella smiled as she brushed her hair behind her ear. “Nice hat.”

“Thanks.” Edward tilted his head back and forth to let the puff on top twist around. He looked around for a second before crouching down, his chin and hands on his knees as he glanced up at Bella. “Hello.”

“Hi.” She said again, like an idiot.

Edward only smiled. “My mom wanted to know if you have any allergies.”

Bella shook her head. “I don’t.”

“Her and Alice are really excited you’re coming. Rosalie’s a bit on the fence, she doesn’t quite like people most of the time, but if you would be okay to watch Clueless with her, she’ll be fine with you. Or Down With Love.” Edward shrugged his shoulders.

“Tell Rosalie that I’d watch both with her.”

Edward grinned and huffed a little laugh. “You surprise me- you don’t strike me as a rom-com type of girl.”

Bella might not have much of a love life, but when it came to books and movies and plays she thrived off the romances shown in them. It most likely had to do with Renee’s ridiculous love for romantic comedies- Bella had sat through watching Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail so many times as a child that of course it and the idea of some great kind of love sort of grew on her. The past month she would find herself lying in bed and having a small fantasy world where Edward swept her off her feet and kissed her senseless and _liked_ her.

“I love rom-coms.” Bella said as she glanced at anywhere but his honey colored eyes- his pink lips that quirked up slightly, his pale knuckles that had hair from his arms crawling towards them, the corner of the rainbow beanie. “The Princess Bride is by for the best of the genre.”

Edward pursed his lips. “I see why Emmett thinks so highly of you- that’s one of his favorite movies as well. Um, there was this time where a theater was playing the movie, so Emmett went once with each of us, then finally we went as the whole family for him. It really is entertaining. My favorite was Inigo Montoya.”

Bella laughed and, together, they said, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You have killed my father. Prepare to die” as seriously as they could, Bella finding herself giggling about halfway through, leaning forwards so her head rested against her thighs, muffling her laugh.

They were silent for a while longer, sitting in awkward positions, their breathing and the ticking of a clock above the only sounds.

“What are you thinking about?” Edward asked, his voice hushed and deeper than usual.

Bella licked her lips as she tried to gather her thoughts enough to answer him. She settled on a dorky reply that she hoped sounded flirty enough, but it probably didn’t come out as she wanted it to. “How adorable that hat is on you.”

Edward grinned and moved his head again to let the pom-pom on top move about. When the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, Edward shot up, holding out his large hand for Bella to grab. She smiled at his feet as she took it to help herself stand. The conversation they had as they walked to class was low, nothing significant, but Bella felt as though they had taken some sort of step forward.

 

Friday came by suddenly, the days moving fast and blending together slightly, and before she knew it she was waiting for Alice to pick her up from her house as she leaned against the sofa and pet Charlie the dog with her shoe clad foot. Somehow, he seemed to enjoy it. Were all dogs this weird or was Chuck, in what seemed in be Forks fashion, especially odd? Maybe Bella was just the weird one- unfriendliness mixed with social anxiety and what might be depression if she thought too hard about it (but tended not too).

A honk pulled Bella out of her thoughts, and she peeked out the window to see Alice in the driver seat of Edward’s silver Volvo. Bella sent her dad a text as she warded Charlie the dog off from trying to run out the door to follow her.

As Bella slid into the passenger seat, Alice gave her a wide smile. “Hey!”

“Hi.” Bella smiled back at her. “I, um,” she held up the bag in her hands, “I brought some cookie dough? I think that’s what people make at sleepovers?” She had never really been to one before- not that she had never wanted to as a kid, but she had never felt like she should leave Renee alone all night long. It made her feel antsy. Both of them.

“Bella! You are brilliant!” Alice placed a hand on Bella’s before she quickly placed it back on the steering wheel as she drove. “I’ve never actually had one either, unless you count the times Edward and Rosalie let me stay up and talk with them. This will be a nice treat. Thank you! This is going to be great! It’ll be so fun!” She squeezed her hand to the wheel and grinned as she stared ahead. For a second, Bella was worried she was going to have another one of her seizures, but she turned the wheel and shifted her grin towards Bella as they spoke. “You can play the radio if you want. Just be careful not to change any of Eddie’s stations around, he’s so particular about his music.”

Bella turned on the radio- it had been turned off with a cd playing. It took her a second to recognize it as the Red Hot Chilli Peppers- it was something one of her mother's old ex-boyfriends had been really into and would play loudly in the house whenever he got the chance. Bella had hated the guy, but she did think some of the songs were pretty good. “He’s _really_ into music.”

“Yeah.” Alice shrugged. “Eddie’s biological mother was really into classical music and he fell in love with it too. Over the years, he’s learned to love all different genres. He’s been going through a bit of a emo phase the past few years. Hence- Scar Tissue. And Paramore, so, so much Paramore. Blaring, all the time. It’s pretty good though.” Alice continued to talk, Bella nodding along and answering when she felt it was necessary, though she mostly kept one hand up to reach for the wheel in case the worst happened and an eye out on the not-so-road they were on.

They were on a dirt road going through the mass of green trees.

“Um. Where are we going?” Bella asked as she turned herself in the seat to fully look at Alice. A small part of her was wondering if Alice _was_ going through a slight meltdown because as far as Bella knew, there was nothing out here. Maybe a trail.

The girl smiled brightly at her. “Home, silly! My parents had this house remodeled years ago- it belonged to my dad’s family and he inherited it- so when they wanted a break from Alaska, we moved here. In the middle of the forest. It’s really nice. I promise it is not a murder house. You will not get murdered. Hopefully.” Alice laughed and Bella joined in with her, feeling a little better, as the trees began to part and she could make out a garage in the corner of the view.

When the house was in full view, Bella gasped and whispered, “Holy shit. This is something out of a magazine, wow.” It really was- most of it was made out of windows, and Bella could just make out the foyer- beautiful, with a piano and several potted plants around. This was the kind of house Renee had always wanted, trying her best to decorate their own similar to this- though she had a talent with killing anything green, cacti included. “Wow.”

“Right? Mom did awesome with this one.” Alice said as she parked the Volvo into the garage, in between an older car model that must be her parents and Emmett’s blue jeep.

“I thought your mom was a preschool teacher?” Bella asked as she gathered up her bags, feeling a bit unbalanced as she opened the door to get out, trying not to hit the Cullen’s car, even if she was a good distance away from it.

Alice nodded her head a few times as she bit her lip. “Right, right. She- went to school to be an architect. Went back to go into child development. She still dabbles in architecture and designing. Houses. Though, she is pretty great at sewing! You ready Bella?” Bella simply nodded her head, not quite sure what was going to happen as she let Alice take her head and guide her through the snow towards the houses porch. There were a few rocking chairs and a cute orange cat on one, sleeping. “That’s Lucy. She lives here even though she hates us and tries to kill us everyday.”

Bella snorted as a image of big Emmett Cullen getting a faceful of cat whenever he tried to pet it. As Alice opened the front door, Bella watched as the cat stretched and stood up, waiting for her chance to sprint inside the house. She wanted to pet her so bad, but decided she did not want to touch her if she didn’t like it. Lucy walked into the house, pushing at Bella’s leg, at the same time she did. She watched as the cat ran off down the hall, passing by a short woman with long caramel colored hair that fell over her shoulders.

The woman stepped forwards with a large smile. “You must be Bella! The kids have spoke so much about you! I’m Esme.” She held out her arms and Bella somehow did not feel awkward as she stepped into the hug. “Come in, I made some dinner.”

Bella fumbled with the plastic bag that held the cookie dough. “I, um, brought some cookie dough. It’s winter and cold so I thought it’d be nice.” She bit at her lip as she scratched at her wrist.

The smile Esme gave her was warm as she grabbed the bag from Bella. “Oh, that was so sweet of you. We can put them in after you- we- eat dinner and watch that movie Al and Emmy have been fusing over for days. Carlisle sends his regards, he wanted to be here to meet you Bella, really he did, he holds your father dear, Chief Swan is such a kind man, but, unfortunately, he had to work a late shift at the hospital.” Esme’s smile was warm and reassuring- motherly in so many ways that Bella felt herself feel much more comfortable than she had when she stepped inside the house.

“It’s alright. I’ve heard a lot about you and Doctor Cullen from- everyone, honestly.” Bella said, not quite sure how to respond, but feeling the need to try to be liked by Alice’s- and Edward’s- mom. She wrung her hands in front of her as she walked deeper inside of the large house.

 

They were halfway through their second movie, Begin Again, with Alice behind her back, braiding Bella’s hair with smooth motions as they discussed Mark Ruffalo and whether he was still cute now, or when he was younger. Emmett was lying on his stomach next to Bella, stuffing a cookie and a handful of popcorn in his mouth in between their conversations. It was then that Edward walked into the room, to lean against the couch and throw a disgusted look at his older brother.

“You are going to get sick Em.” Edward pointed out as he tilted his head to the side, nose wrinkled up as Emmett chewed, deliberately opening his mouth wide with his head turned towards Edwards. Bella giggled into her shoulder.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders as he swallowed best he could. “Doesn’t matter. It’s fun. You ditching Jazzy? I thought you two were coming to watch some open mike at that place you like? The cat place- uh- Cat Square Cafe?”

Alice grabbed Bella’s head and forced her to look forward, so she couldn’t see Edward as he replied, “Jazz is going with Rose. There is supposed to be a woman she has been following for a while playing there and I figured I would let them bond. Begin Again? I love this movie. The songs are beautiful.”

“Eddie’s just saying that because he thinks Adam Levine’s falsetto is orgasmic.” Emmett said, causing his brother to sputter and yell slightly and Bella and Alice to laugh, Alice leaning forward so that her head rested against Bella’s back for a few seconds as they tried to collect themselves.

The rest of the movie was spent listening to the siblings throw verbal- and in one case physical- jabs at one another in the background as they watched. When it finished, Bella stood up to wander back in the kitchen to eat some more of the delicious breadsticks Esme had made with the pasta and salad. She had eaten much more than she had intended, but Esme had insisted and it was just so damn good, Bella could not resist but continue to eat.

As she walked past the sofa, Edward stood up and followed close by her side, giving her one of his small, handsome smiles. “Rosalie sends her regards. She wanted to watch Down With Love with you and Al, but, um, Jazz wanted to go out and I wanted to stay in. To eat. Esme’s cooking is delicious and I knew I would have to eat some before Emmett tried to claim it all after you had your fill.” His pale hand reached up to cup the back of his neck as he spoke. Bella watched his fingers scratch against his neck before he shoved them in his jeans pockets.

Instead of saying anything in return about it being fine that Rosalie had wanted to spend time with her cousin, Bella found herself asking, “You wear jeans in your own house? Isn’t that uncomfortable?”

Edward laughed as he leaned his head against the doorway of the kitchen. Bella could feel his eyes watching her as she made way towards the counter, pulling up a piece of bread from its place on a beautiful pink and green ceramic plate. “We have company. It would be rude not to stay dressed.”

“I’m sleeping over though? Unless you’re actually creepy and sleep in your jeans, it’s fine if you change. You will have to eventually. I won’t tell Jess what kind of pajamas you wear if that’s what has you worried.” Bella kept herself turned away from him as she bit into the bread, before realizing that was dumb. He’s seen her eat before. They hang out at the same table during lunch most days unless he was sitting with Rosalie and Jasper or if the Cullens were hanging out in a classroom. So she turned towards him. He was still leaning in the doorway, his eyes closed. “Did you fall asleep?”

His lips twitched up and he shook his head. “Mind if I ask what are you thinking about?”

It was a familiar question; Edward asked her a lot about her thoughts. What was her thoughts on Forks, on the upcoming quiz, on television, her thoughts about nothing whatsoever. Bella pursed her lips. Right now she was thinking about how handsome Edward Cullen was, with his thick eyebrows and pale skin that shined and the dark jeans that slung low on his hips. She wanted to move forward, to be brave, and kiss at his jaw.

She wasn’t that brave.

Bella did, however, walked over to stand next to him. She glanced up at Edward- at his ear, with light brown hair brushed behind it. She noticed, this close, how it looked kind of red.“What a dork you are.”

He gave her a grin. “Funny. I find myself thinking of the same thing of you.” They stood there for a second, Bella’s heart thumping so hard it would be no surprise if it decided to jump out and do a jig for the whole world to see. For a second she was sure Edward was able to hear how fast her heart was beating, the way he smiled at her felt as though he knew all the movements, all her thoughts, all her desires. “I want to get to know you more Bella Swan.”

Her stomach turned over. Her fingers twisted in her hands as she gave him a small smile, God, her face had to be too red, like she was standing in the Phoenix heat. Bella felt a little brave as she answered, “I’d love to get to know you Edward Cullen.” She brought a hand up to mess with her hair, brushing it over to cover her cheeks, before she walked forward back into the living room.

Emmett and Alice were grinning maniacally, giggling, like they knew something. She was pathetic- thinking way too into things. Bella ignored the way she wanted to implode into herself and die, instead choosing to look through the many dvds to search for the next movie to watch. When she found it, she settled next to Alice, who wrapped her cold arm around her shoulders.

 

By the time the next weekend- the weekend before Christmas- rolled around, Bella realized she had to buy gifts. Especially her secret santa gift for Alice. She still was not exactly sure what to get Alice, but she had a small idea after she had spent the night at her house and slept in her room- which had been a sparkling, cute mess full of tinkling and twinkling knick knacks and fabrics and pens and clothes. Apparently Alice made a lot of her own clothes and even made little clothes for her mother to take to the preschool for the kids to dress up in.

“A lot of the kids like the glittery princess dresses, which I’m happy about. Princess dresses are my very favorite to make!” Alice had exclaimed as she showed Bella pictures of the kids dressed up and showed her her sketchbook full of drawings and doodles of her ideas. It had been amazing. Fashion was something that Bella never quite cared about, she mostly just wore whatever she got her hands on and stepped out of the house, but it was wonderful to see just how much Alice loved it.

Bella had roped Jake into coming along with her to find presents, which he happily dealt with. This was the first time they were hanging out somewhere that wasn’t one of their houses, excluding Jessica’s house during halloween and the time Jake dragged her on a snack run at the convenience store They were sitting in Bella’s truck, laughing and joking as the cd Edward had made for her played quietly. Jacob sat silent for a few seconds as he processed the music.

“That Cullen kid made this playlist for you? Edmundo?” Jake tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips. A lock of his hair fell out of his ponytail and curled around his chin. Bella pulled at it as she did her best to keep her eyes on the road. “Ow, stop, ow, shit, sorry, sorry. It’s a pretty good playlist, that’s all I was going to say. Ouch, Bells. Do not mess with my hair. It’s sacred. Literally sacred to my people!”

Bella rolled her eyes as she placed her hand back on the wheel. “Alright Jake, I believe you for now. But know what will come your way next time.” She wiggled her fingers on the steering wheel, causing her friend to giggle. “It is good though, right? I like it. It’s- there’s a meaning to it. Maybe I’m reading too into it.”

“Bells, white boy made you a playlist and burned it onto a cd- there is no reading too much into it. He likes you.” Jake laughed out.

The thought made Bella stiffen up and clutch tighter at the steering wheel- Edward Cullen, liking her. It could be possible. Maybe. A possibility. Or maybe he did this with other people and she just did not know about it. What if it was his thing? He did like music, a lot. Or maybe Bella just seconds guesses everything way too much. Instead of agreeing with Jacob, Bella pursed her lips and said, “I guess. But- there is no way to actually know this kind of stuff. Edward might just be really nice and it can mean nothing.” He was splendidly polite to everyone- they had literally met when he held a door open for her and other girls, there was no mistaking that.

“Sure, sure. Whatever you wanna think Bells.” Jake said before he shut up, listening to the song playing. Bella heard him shuffle through her glove box, examining the cd case and homemade cover. “That’s cute. Damn, white boy has some good penmanship.”

“I know! They all do! It’s crazy, it’s like they actually did cursive in school.” Bella was always astonished whenever she saw one of the Cullen’s handwriting- beautiful and loopy. When she had spent the night at their house, she had spent a few minutes staring at Esme and her husbands beautiful handwriting on their chalkboard listed with chores and schedules. It was oddly hypnotizing.

When they arrived in the city, they wandered around shops, trying to find a gift for Alice. They each bought a gift for their fathers as they searched about, and laughed way too loud at jokes that were way too stupid to create laughter that intense, but there they were, leaning against each other to help stand up, in hysterics as they stared at the product of their laughter. It was nice. Bella never had friends like this back in Phoenix. Actually- she never really had friends.

She wondered if it was herself, did she purposely isolate herself because she felt obligated to her mom?

Bella bit the inside of her cheek and decided it was best not to think too hard about it, not right now when she was having a good time. They continued on their search for a present for Alice Cullen. It was well into their third hour of being in Port Angeles when Bella found some little gifts that she thought Alice would like- a bright yellow mug with a little hippo character that Bella had no clue where it was from, but was ridiculously adorable so she was sure Alice would like it, along with a set of sparkly pens in different colors, erasers the shape of flowers and bees and pigs, and a small Piglet tsum tsum. She also bought Jacob and Seth some little gifts when Jacob was off wandering about in boredom.

On the ride home, she let Jake take over control of the radio. They were both tired out- making little talk as they listened to the music and Jacob doodled in a notebook he had brought with him and had kept stuffed in Bella’s purse most the day. She caught glimpses of it here and there as she drove- fluffy wolves, chins with blood dripping down onto their hands, tree limbs, a face that looked a little like herself. A chill, not from the cold air outside, made its way down her back whenever she saw it. They were beautiful; they filled her up with a sort of dread she didn’t quite understand.

 

Bella stepped out of her car- the red shiny bag with Alice’s present in one hand as she struggled to keep her container of macaroni and cheese in the other. Just as she was sure she was about to drop one of them, a pale hand reached out and took hold of the large glass container. Bella blinked at the hand, attached to an arm wearing a blue jacket that seemed a little too large on his thin frame.

“Thanks.” She mumbled as she shoved her trucks door closed.

Edward’s smile was happy and wide as he clutched the warm container close to himself. His pale fingers twisted together around the container. “It’s no problem. I heard your truck coming, thought you might need some help.” He gestured with a tilt of his head for Bella to walk forward before him, so she began to cross the dying yellow grass of the Stanley’s lawn.

“You make it sound like my truck is screeching. She barely makes any sound!” Bella stuck her tongue out him as she slipped inside the house- letting the warmth slowly seep into her cold skin. She could hear laughter and the sound of a movie already playing. Edward simply made a ‘I don’t know about that’ sort of hum that had Bella reach over and lightly kick at his tennis shoe as she quickly made way towards the living room to stick the present under the tree, among the gifts from everyone else who had already arrived.

Bella settled on the couch, next to Emmett, who already had a cupcake with bright blue frosting balanced on his as knee as he stared intently at the tv screen, watching as Amy Adams, wearing a blue dress as she strolled around confused in a New York street. Without much thought, she reached over and stole the cupcake for herself, only receiving a small pout, but nothing else as Emmett continued to be entranced by the movie.

The party was nice, Bella lounged against Emmett, who at some point had wrapped a large blue Snuggie around himself, and she ate more cupcakes than she should have as she spoke with Jessica and Angela about their plans for the upcoming winter formal. Apparently, Angela had asked Jessica to go with her, and they were excited about coordinating their dresses and flowers. When Jess asked if Bella was going to come, Bella scrunched up her nose and shook her head.

“How come?” Jessica asked as she slowly peeled the wrapper off of her cupcake between two fingers. “It’ll be _lots_ of fun! Music and dancing and the dj the school always hires knows his song placement and timing, so it’s fun! Plus you get to dress up all pretty!”

Bella scratched at her neck and shrugged. “It’s, uh, it’s not really my thing?”

Jessica huffed and shook her head, but didn’t say anything when Angela changed the subject and asked if they should open up their secret santa presents. Jess automatically perked up and dragged the two of them into the living room with the others, who were watching Mean Girls, to announce that they would now open presents. After a few minutes of debating on the order, they decided that Jessica should go first, since it was her idea and her house they were in.

“I wonder what it is!” Jessica grinned as she held a little green bag close to her chest. After a few seconds she was digging around in the bag, pulling out a scented candle that she claimed she had her eye on, a gold colored necklace with little stars on the chain, and a charcoal face scrub. “Oh my god- who! This is the best!”

From next to Bella, Edward raised his arm slightly and shifted a bit on the coach. “I remembered you talking about liking charcoal face masks and the candle seemed you style,” he said with a small shrug of his shoulders, his lips up in a small smile. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I love it! Thanks so, so, so much Edward!” Jessica grinned up at him before placing her gifts back into the bag and setting it aside, grabbing Angela’s present. “Here you go Ange.”

Angela took it with a happy smile, weighing it in her hands for a second as Emmett and Eric shouted out guesses on what exactly it could be. After carefully unwrapped the snowman wrapping paper, she grinned excitedly and clutched a book close to her chest. Bella squinted and realized it was actually a book Angela had been talking nonstop about wanting whenever she had got the chance to mention it. “It’s Carry On! Whoever gave this to me- thank you!”

Alice leaned forward from her seat and grinned widely. “Guilty! I even got myself a copy so we can talk about it when you finish!” She was given her present next, which she grinned at happily as she ripped the paper out of the bag. After a second she gasped as she carefully looked through the contents. “Oh my god, Bella, thank you! This is so, so cute! Wow! Jazzy, look, it’s Moomin!” She held up the mug in the air, the pens inside of it clinking against the sides.

“How- how’d you know it was me?” Bella asked as she blinked at her friend.

The smile Alice gave her looked a little sad as she placed her mug back into the bag. “Deduction. Now- Bella needs to open her gift!” She placed the bag onto her lap and excitedly looked over at Jessica, who handed a gift wrapped in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas wrapping.

It was ridiculous. Bella grinned at glanced over at Emmett, whose smile was so wide Bella thought it had to hurt him. Bella carefully ripped off the paper, making sure Michelangelo's face was still intact, to see a copy of Romeo and Juliet. As she flipped through the pages, she could make out notes in the margins in Emmett’s messy cursive in bright green and pink ink. She read one and snorted. Under the book was a large book full of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. “Thanks Emmett, this is nice.” She stood up to go give him a quick hug.

After everyone each opened their gifts and were either making conversation or lying on top of each other as they watched movies and lazily yelled at the screen as they ate snacks or threw them into each others mouths. Bella stood up from where she lay to grab another cupcake and to send Jacob a text asking what their plans for friday was. She had half of a cupcake in her mouth when Edward Cullen sat next to her.

Bella stuffed her mouth and carefully held her hand over her mouth as she shifted from foot to foot awkwardly. “Hey.” She said despite not quite swallowing all of the cupcake yet. She winced at herself- she was so, so stupid, like Edward was going to think anything positive about her like this.

The boy laughed and placed his chin on the cold counter. “Hey.”

As she finally swallowed the last of the cupcake, Bella brought herself to fully face Edward. She stared at his ear. A part of her wanted to bite it, but she held that weird feeling down and said, “Having a good time?”

Edward hummed. “It’s been nice… Um. I- I know I did not get you for the secret santa, but- I got you something. Actually, made. I made you another cd. Hopefully you enjoy it.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a case, playing it onto the counter next to him as he placed his head onto his arms.

He watched as she reached over and picked it up. “[To Bella Swan- a collection of to listen to as you read or let your mind wander about](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/64apekThb4KmF5M7WaoWVr).” She flipped over to the back cover and read through the songlist. “Thanks Edward, this is really awesome.” A rush of- something, something brave and something stubborn and something wanting- waved through her and she found herself leaning down to press a kiss to his cold skin. “Thanks.”

The smile he gave her was goofy and wide. After a second, he hid it under his sleeve, his caramel colored eyes shining brightly up at her. “Hi,” he whispered quietly.

“Hi.” Bella answered as she clutched the cd close to her erratically beating heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE the library scene :') I did cute there! Hope this is going good so far, and ya'll are enjoying this! Thanks for reading, next chapter will be up sometime in the near future!

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! Leave a comment, kudos, subscribe <3
> 
> Come talk to me @leahclearwlwater on tumblr or check out my moodboards @rainbowmiaes


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